Former Health Minister and professional child frightener Peter Dutton has made a plea to Australian’s everywhere to step up and ‘donate more delicious blood.’

Following a stay in hospital due to an incident involving contact with the PM’s crucifix, Dutton states he now understands the importance of a well-funded healthcare system after a short stay in a private hospital.

For this reason, the MP has decided to ask Australian’s to do more than just pay tax that might trickle-down to hospitals but to prepare their veins and donate their own blood.

“The situation is dire, the hospital I was just at ran out of blood while I was there, coincidentally,” stated Dutton at an indoor press conference.

“Your plump juicy bodies must be relieved of the additional strain of the rich, red blood that runs through your hot, pumping veins.”

In response to his comments, Shadow Health Minister Catherine King said today that Dutton cares more about the Australian healthcare system now than when he was Health Minister and that he ‘should take a good hard look in the mirror,” – an assertion Dutton laughed at, before twirling his cape and running off stage.


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