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As the fanfare and novelty of an American sporting event begins to wear off at the Betoota French Quarter’s favourite sportsbar ‘WINGS’ – local white collar Jeff Dorgk (36) is starting to map out the next play.

Right across the country right now, hundreds of thousands of Australian men are starting to wonder if taking a day off work to watch the NFL SuperBowl was worth it – after finding themselves blind drunk at 3pm on a Monday.

The archetypical Australian gridiron fan is usually someone who was never recognised as a talent in our nation’s more popular football codes and overcompensates by vocally following American sport. Either that, or they just have gambling addictions.

After 8 pints of some shit American beer, Jeff is starting to seriously question if he really is that big of a fan of this game, and if it was really worth taking a day of leave to spend a fuck load of money.

With most of his mates opting to not take a day off work to watch a foreign football match between two cities he has never visited and will never visit – Jeff also worries that he might be a bit too pissed at this point to truly enjoy the couple hours he has left in this day off.

“I’m not sure what to do on third and long here,” sighed the rapidly fatiguing local man.

“My wife certainly didn’t think I’d be getting this pissed, so I think I should be winding down the clock a bit more before I head home and see her and the kids.”

Jeff says that while it’s nice not to be having a post lunch carb lull at his desk, he’s actually not having that much fun as a quite intoxicated man covered in barbecue sauce residue.

“I’ve spent so much money too,” he laughed.

“I’m actually really tired and I’d love to have a nap, but I know it will absolutely destroy me.”

“I think I’m gonna try and go for a walk around the block or something.”

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