ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact

A local man who prefers his Harp and a smile from Sally O’Brien over a Guinness in a snug has told The Advocate today that a service station up on the Delroy Bypass does really good Northern Irish food.

William Lachlan, of Belfast, pulled out his phone to show our reporter some of the “meals” he’s been getting from the local Caltex Truckin N Tuckin restaurant recently.

“This one is fried rice with chicken chips under it with a mild curry sauce just poured on top,” he said.

When asked if he was talking about that pile of fried shit, the 23-year-old traffic controller enthusiastically nodded.

“It not be plated up like you would get at some high end restaurant in Belfast or Portrush. It’s just good tasty food. What? What you think of it? You wouldn’t eat it?”

Our reporter indicated that they probably would eat it but would be concerned about feeling under the weather in the hours after consuming it.

“Nah, you’d be fine. Tell you what, there’s no finer Northern Irish food I’ve come across. Nothing like a few pints of Harp and a trip to the chippy. Gosh, I could do with a pint of Harp. Don’t get me wrong, there’s nothing wrong with a XXXX or a Victorian [sic] Bitter. My flatmate calls Guinness the Irish Valium. It tastes like paint in Australia, you’d sooner die drinking that than eating out a chippy,” he continued.

“You Australians don’t know what you’re missing. Paying $30 for fish and chips and the fish is even caught here. You haven’t had a good fish and chips until you’ve had one at 9am after a night out in Londonderry [Derry] and this fish is from Vietnam and the potatoes are from Poland. That’s when you know it’s fresh. That’s what you want. Cooked in two week old canola oil from Ukraine. When I see that, I hear Danny Boy playing softly in the back of my mind. It hurts my heart to remember the smell of peat at Christmas time, the chilly wind on my brow. A stomach full of fried grease and Harp,”

“That paddock to plate shite is for rich people.”

More to come.

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