“Always was, always will be Aboriginal land!” shouted the Former Prime Minister as he lead hundreds of locals through the Manly corso.

It was just one of many chants that Uncle Tony initiated throughout yesterday’s nine hour protest against the newly announced Coal Seam Gas hydraulic fracturing drill that has appeared in Manly’s emergency water reservoir overnight.

“No one consulted us!” shouted the Member for Warringah.

“You can’t frack Manly Dam! That’s our water. We depend on that. These foreign gas and mining mobs don’t even pay tax, let alone worry about the long-term effects this kind of intrusive extraction has on our country!”

The CSIRO began studying methane seeps in the nearby Pittwater, about 50 kilometres North of Sydney CBD, after Uncle Tony reported seeing bubbles while out on his stand up paddle board.

Speaking to The Betoota Advocate today, the recently-appointed special envoy to Indigenous Affairs, Uncle Tony Abbott said it was “implausible” that the gas flow was not linked to the coal seam gas industry, which discreetly began work in the area last year without any interaction with the local community.

It is not yet known if the respected Northern Beaches community elder will face repercussions for handcuffing himself to the hydraulic pumps over night, but fellow protestors worry he might be face charges for his activism.

NSW laws give police excessive new powers to stop, search and detain protesters and seize property as well as to shut down peaceful protests that obstruct traffic. They expand the offence of “interfering” with a mine, which carries a penalty of up to seven years’ jail, to cover coal seam gas exploration and extraction sites.

“If I have to get locked up to lock the gate. I don’t care” shouted the Member for Warringah.

“Gone then. This is for the future generations!”

“Can’t eat coal, can’t drink gas!”


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