Business leaders from the rural Queensland epicentre of Toowoomba are taking the lead from the corporates down south who are now bypassing Scotty From Marketing and instead talking their grievances to former Prime Minister Kevin Rudd.

This comes after it was revealed that Grampa Kev had been asked by Australian corporate executives if he could step up and speak with the American multinational pharmaceutical supplier for the Australian jab roll-out – as they had grown tired of dealing with “junior Australian bureaucrats”.

Today, knowing full well that they are stuck in a safe LNP seat which means their government won’t give them any love unless they swing to Katter or the Shooters and Fishers, Toowoomba has had to swallow their pride and ask a former Labor PM for help.

The Prime Minister made some powerful enemies in The Darling Downs last may for suggesting the city is too far away from the Queensland capital and lacked sufficient resources to host a quarantine hub that could bring thousands of jobs to the region.

In a plan handed to the Queensland government in January, different business figures and local politicians from Toowoomba proposed a 1,000-room quarantine facility at its Wellcamp airport, including extra rooms for staff, COVID-19 testing facilities, fencing and security cameras.

The state government then asked the Prime Minister to say whether he supports the idea or not, because you know, quarantine is a Federal responsibility according to the constitution, even though it has been shifted onto the Premiers and the CBD hotel sector for the last twelve months.

However, Scotty has slapped down the proposal for a quarantine facility at Wellcamp Airport, saying it was not “stacking up” because it was not near a ‘capital city with a major hospital’

Less than an hour from Brisbane in good traffic, and with a new airport that is capable of accomodating any number of international flights, the Prime Minister has ruled that Toowoomba is just too remote.

“[You can’t] put these out in the desert somewhere” said Morrison, as he desperately searched for a reason to not sign off on this no-brainer proposal from the Toowoomba business leaders because Alan Jones had told him not to, and everyone in Toowoomba knows why.

Kevin Rudd is believed to be already making phone calls to the appropriate health and construction bodies, as he leans on contacts he made back when he was the type of Prime Minister who doesn’t disappear in the middle of a crisis.

It is not yet known if the Former PM can get the Federal Quarantine facilities over the line without the cooperation of a Federal Government who seem to be content with using luxury hotels with shared air vents and then blaming the Premiers every time the virus leaks.

Scott Morrison was approached for comment about his office being cuckholded by Kevin Rudd, but the only sentence he was able to string together was “Ash Barty, State Of Origin, ANZACS, summer, church, pride, beer, horseracing!!!!”


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