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Proving once again that he is for all Australians, Prime Minister Scott Morrison has decided to improve living conditions for detainees on Nauru Regional Processing Centre with the addition of an in-house Hillsong rock band.

According to Morrison, he is very concerned the conditions for the 189 detainees in the Nauru detention centre could lose him votes and he is determined to remind the asylum seekers that Jesus loves them even if he doesn’t.

“I think we got off to the wrong start considering I appeared on a TV and told them they would never be settled in Australia,” laughed the Prime Minister.

“But I think this will help mend relationships. I hear they’ve even given me a nickname.”

One Nauru detainee who asked not to be named alleged the nickname Morrison is referring to is in fact ‘the fat fuhrer’

When asked how effective an evangelical rock group would be at improving conditions at the detention centre, Morrison insisted that the band is very good and that their cover of ‘You Raise Me Up’ has helped him through some hard times such as when he realised he was out of milk after he’d already scooped his Milo into a glass.

“They’re a great band! Some of them used to be on Australian Idol you know!”

“They are going to be playing a lovely song called Be Faithful by an American hip hop artist. I haven’t listened to the lyrics yet but it should be good to go!”

More to come.

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