Once again, the Victorian Health authorities have confirmed that Victoria has had the same amount of confirmed COVID-19 cases as New South Wales.

Victoria has recorded six new coronavirus cases in the past 24 hours, which is around the same as NSW has been hovering for the last few months without any need to shut down businesses or place curfews on residents.

There have also been no new deaths overnight. Melbourne’s 14-day average has fallen to 8.9 but the number of cases with an unknown source has risen to 15, up from 14 yesterday. 

However, regional Victoria’s average remains at 0.6 as health teams continue to grapple with an outbreak in Shepparton, in the state’s north, at 11pm this morning it was reported that the town’s show ground testing clinic was at complete capacity.

The North-West Victorian outbreak mirrors a similar cluster taking place in Sydney’s Lakemba, where intense contract tracing measures are now underway.

However, the biggest difference between the two states is the fact that Sydney residents continue to live life as usual, with as many beach trips as they want – and the luxury of being able to drink beer all afternoon spent while watching live music in the pub.

This is not the case in Victoria, where residents have been stuck on the most stringent lock down in the world for going on 6 months.

It is at this point that now even the most delusional inner-Melbourne lefties are starting to lose their patience with the Victorian Premier.

Overnight, the office of the Victorian Premier Daniel Andrews was vandalised for the second time in less than a month, with the words “sack Dan” written in red graffiti both on the front door and the windows alongside it.

Residents say they are now starting to question whether or not they are in fact being brainwashed by the anti-Labor propaganda of the Murdoch news monopoly, or if they are genuinely losing patience with their premier.

Local Labor die-hard Atticus Mersey-Vally (33) says he has always stood by Dan, but would it really kill anyone to let him stretch out a slackline in Fitzroy Gardens.

“I mean, I don’t like undermining public health policy, like this”

“And I obviously loathe Andrew Bolt with every fibre of my being”

“But it’s getting to the point now where I need to just call it how it is”

Atticus exhales, before doing something he never thought he was capable of doing and condemning the actions of his Labor darling.

“I mean…”

“For fucks sake, get it together mate”


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