ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact

It’s cheap, it’s easy and it’s healthy.

That’s the message from the Federal Government today after a recent survey found over 40% of renters around the country are struggling to pay the rent and feed themselves.

Many are skipping meals, which triggered the Prime Minister Scott Morrison to suggest that maybe those people should adopt the POW Diet made popular by the Japanese Imperial Army.

“I mean, it’s hard to feel sorry for all these fat peasants complaining about not getting fed,” said Mr Morrison.

“People could always start the POW Diet. It’s just one cup of rice a day and a lot of hard yakka. By a lot, I mean fucking heaps. Terrible conditions, too. No unions over there, by golly,”

“If you can’t afford to pay the rent and buy a five kilo bag of rice a week then what hope have you got? We’re paying most people out the arse right now to sit down and not cough on everyone,”

“If it was good enough for the Diggers, it’s good enough for you. Please, just cut the shit. I’m sick of it.”

However, a local exercise nutritionist at the Stanley School of Biometrics within the South Betoota Polytechnic College told The Advocate that the POW Diet is extremely unhealthy and shouldn’t be adopted by anyone.

“It will take a gut off you real quick,” said Dr Melanie Robert.

“Like real quick. But, it’ll also make you feed sick as hell and you will be unhappy as hell. But yeah, really bad for your health. So don’t do it,”

“The government needs to come up with a better response to this. Like maybe forcing landlords to put the rent down. Who knows. This isn’t the answer.”

More to come.


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