CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT
Today marks the third day of Beef Australia after a crowd of over 25,000 passed through the Rockhampton showgrounds in the first 24 hours of Rockhampton Beef Week.
Every busted cocky between Kyogle and Weipa have made their way to the Central Queensland town to network, innovate and fornicate.
Every agribusiness nerd in the country is breaking out the branded puffy vests, and the showground is packed with luxury off-road vehicles – as Australia’s cattlemen and women bump their heads together to try and find ways to make this life on the land a little less cruel.
The week started with a bit of momentum, as the attendees were gracious enough to listen to an address from the sworn enemy of agriculture – a Labor Prime Minister.
Albanese basically said everything they wanted to hear, and assured them that he will continue sucking up to China to secure that sweet sweet foreign market of 1.4 billion.
That kind of optimism was enough for all the bushies to call it a day, as they headed directly for their preferred Rockhampton pubs to drink mid-strength beer and full strength rum for 8 hours.
However, while the ‘first night fever’ is to be expected on any industry junket of this size, it’s the second night blow out that many say is perhaps a bit too indulgent.
Charleville cattleman, Marrie Noah (45) is fucken hurting today.
“What in the fuck did I hope to achieve spending that long at the front bar of the Criterion last night?” he asks our reporters, as he stumbles through the venue this morning.
“Catching up with blokes I don’t know. Talking absolute shit about the Broncos”
As Marrie points out, Beef Week is a long one.
“It’s a marathon not a sprint. I have jumped the gun twice before we even get to bull prizes”
“Now the wife is insisting I send her photos of this celebrity chef they’ve got up on stage. I’m so hungover I keep forgetting to breathe. There’s just so much going on, I tell you what a hangover is a lot easier when it’s just me and my fences alone under the sun.
“The Tuesday night blow out was just not necessary aye. I am in a world of hurt right now”
“But I won’t be doing anything differently next year”
