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The Lord Kidman Hotel in inner-Betoota is currently at panic stations, after a local maid of honour-to-be ordered two magnums of moderately priced sparkling white for a table of already rowdy hens.

Becky Littler (nèe Kitson, neè Littler) has never met anyone quite as generous, thoughtful and handsome as her 2nd-hubby-to-be, Craig. That’s why this hens party is gonna be a big one.

Also, there’s the need to overshadow her last marriage to that arsehole, Kyle, who couldn’t get it out of his head that she was having an affair with Craig, even though her thing with Craig didn’t technically start until she was already seperate from her first hubby.

The maid of honour, Kathy, is not mucking around as she order roughly two whole litres of Pommery Champagne.

“Uh oh!” shouts Kathy, as the 19-year-old Latino backpacker delivers the shitty bubbly to the table in two magnum-sized coolers.

“YOU DIDN’T!” shouts Becky.

“FUCK OFF!”

“YOU DIDN’T!”

The group of tipsy middle aged suburban women erupt into hyena-style laughter, while simultaneously eye-groping Javier, the waiter.

Becky then goes on to explain how Kathy is such a bad influence and if anything bad happens to her tonight it’s all her fault!!!

At time of press, the manager of the venue was spotted calling the pub security contractor asking for extra man power for a couple hours from now.

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