CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT

A recent report by the CSIRO has found that the amount of chewy caught up on the low-flush urinal screen in nightclub bathroom directly correlates to how good the pingers are.

Lead researcher Professor Lote Berrigan says staff at the West Betoota CSIRO branch have found an undeniable link between how many people are chewing their faces off, and the quality of the round ones.

“It’s quite clear, that if the bikies have come through town with a high quality batch of disco biccies, then sales of Extra go through the roof at the late night BP servo near the nightclub.

“Most of which ends up chewed within an inch of it’s 200 year life and spat into the water-saving desert cubes and low flush screens that our nightclubs put in the urinals in times of drought.”

“Wild aye”

Usually tasked with finding out ways to stop humankind from destroying the planet and other sciencey stuff like that, the Commonwealth Scientific and Industrial Research Organisation says that after missing on on $444 million in funding to research ways to save Great Barrier Reef, the iconic science body has been forced to channel their energy into really random shit that people only think about at two in the morning.

“Pretty random” says Professor Berrigan.

“Wouldn’t read about it aye. Haha”

LEAVE A REPLY

Please enter your comment!
Please enter your name here