As reported by Monash University, the combined amount of donations and payments to Australian political parties is nearing closer and closer $1 billion – but a more honest figure could be triple that because donations under $13,200 do not have to be declared.

While many people ask what the point is donating to a major political party, considering they are paid by the taxpayer and usually given free media campaigns from the national news broadcasters, it has been revealed that some people just like doing it.

Successful coal mining executive and die hard Liberal voter, John North-Shaw, says pouring millions of dollars into political parties has been a hobby of his ever since he realised that he could be taxed down into the upper middle class bracket.

“I don’t know what it is, but I just love to give them my money”

“I don’t expect anything in return. I just want to be able to see them on the ballot every three years”

However, over lunch with a few of his colleagues and the contracted mining lobbyist that they pay millions of dollars a year to manipulated the votes of Coalition backbenchers, the conversation steers towards how close they were to having to compromise their environmentally damaging mining operations.

Their number one issue, just how close Prime Minister Turnbull was to forcing their industry to accept the slightest from of accountability for what they are doing to the earth.

“The fucking hide on that little new money germ” roars business partner and the godfather of John’s son, Angus Ridge-Oldcarnt.

“He was never one of us!” spits John.

“He may as well grow out dreadlocks and vote for the Greens if he wants to appease those independent scientists with their manipulated research that suggested burning and mining coal is fucking up our environment”

The two of them look towards their lobbyist, Jim Scarmadaurth.

“Get Abbott on the phone. We are going to roll this little cunt” shouts John.


Please enter your comment!
Please enter your name here