Following countless studies surrounding the bleaching of two-thirds of the corals in the northern part of the Great Barrier Reef, which have died in the reef’s worst-ever bleaching event, Australian tourism has been pushed to renamed the natural wonder of the world.

Tourism Queensland and Tourism Australia have been told by the Australian Communications and Media Authority (ACMA) that not changing the name of the landmark would constitute false advertising.

The newly proposed name, which has been put forward by both state and federal members in that part of the world, is “The Adequate Barrier Reef”.

Premier Annastacia Palaszczuk has come out in support of the idea, stating that a name-change could help environmentalists get realistic about the reef’s current spot on her list of priorities.

“When you’ve got Adani mine looking like it could provide upwards of 1500 jobs to out-of-state FIFOs, it’s kind of like, sorry but tough titties for your little water garden”

On some reefs in the north, nearly all the corals have died. However the impact of bleaching eases as we move south, and reefs in the central and southern regions (around Cairns and Townsville) were much less affected, and are now recovering. It is these particular areas that climate change sceptics put forward as an example of why the catastrophic bleaching episode is nothing more than a myth created to de-industrialise Australia

The Great Barrier Reef bleached severely for the first time in 1998, then in 2002, and again in 2016. This year’s event was more extreme than the two previous mass bleachings.

When asked for comment, the Prime Minister’s office stated that anyone who wants to put that much of a national focus on environmentalism has mental health problems – and it’s probably not as bad as the scientists think – and at least they stopped the boats.

More to come.


  1. Dear Sirs,

    As a Western Australian and someone immensely proud of my homeland’s stupendous natural assets, I am astounded by the sheer negativity and defeatism dribbling through this article.

    Despite having a rather unfortunate label which just screams “loser” in our parts, the Great Victoria Desert is going great guns at present, and has adventurous plans afoot for further expansion.

    Similarly, our Great Sandy Desert is growing strongly and anticipates a successful listing on the ASX in the not-too-distant future, with a merger and acquisition strategy for the Atacama already in the pipeline. While eastern-states deserts sit around playing with their privates and demanding unrealistic silica subsidies, it is yet again left to Western business acumen to pull the fat from the fire, charge a ten percent GST on it, and distribute most of that income to bludgers who shouldn’t be having their paws anywhere near it.

    Even the Little Sandy Desert – which for too long has been considered a bit of a poofter desert that usually gets sand kicked in its face by the bigger deserts – has bulked up significantly during the pre-season to the extent it may even soon qualify as morbidly obese if it doesn’t cut back a bit on the carbs. Expect to hear about hear about the new Substantial Sandy Desert in the near future.

    Camels are people too you know, and at least some of us are doing something positive to ensure that they will still have a vibrant, thriving, protected habitat so our grandchildren – and the irradiated blue-green algae that will inevitably be coming after them and inheriting their legacy – will still have a wondrous natural world to point at. Fish are all well-and-good, but Ernest Giles didn’t cross the continent riding a coral trout. People too often forget what’s actually important in this world these days.


    Ron Muppet

  2. The wonderful reef industry of Queensland should consider building a fast rail/chunnel to Queenstown in Tasmania, so that tourists can experience two notable scenes of environmental destruction in one neat package.


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