The Coalition government are under fire today after it was revealed that the Prime Minister spent $60,000 just on flights for a half-hour press conference on Christmas Island yesterday morning.

However, Morrison stands by his press conference – stating that it is very important to actually visit the Christmas Islanders before once again making their home a household name associated with the cruel detainment of people fleeing war.

This comes after a shocking week that has seen the lower-order leader of the Coalition Government attempting to strike in the rapidly worsening light that followed the conviction of the unofficial leader of the Liberal Party on child sex crimes.

The trip from Sydney to Broome, then Christmas Island, then to Perth and finally Canberra took place on a RAAF Boeing 737 –

However, the $2000 per minute visit to the remote Australian territory deep within the Indian ocean, will all be worth it in the long run – as the government desperately looks for ways to treat sick and dying refugees without bringing them to the mainland.

“Hospital looks good.” said the Prime Minister, during an inspection of the medical centre tipped for the job of saving refugees that can, in no circumstances, ever set foot on the commonly accepted landmass known as Australia.

“We’ll see about air con… Might be able to sort you out” he said.

“Haha you haven’t really needed it before, but these refugee groups are always banging on about humane conditions. So you might get lucky”

The Nightwatchman then went outside to inspect the cage that has been built to keep the war-weary asylum seekers locked within”

“Fences look pretty sturdy…”

“Maybe a bit of razor wire…”

“Can we run some electric currents through this?”

“Can we electrify this fence”


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