As Australian farmers continue to buckle under the Chinese export tariffs that were put in place after our government thought it would be a good idea to imply that the COVID-19 pandemic was a biochemical terrorist attack perpetrated one of our most important trade partners, Prime Minister Morrison has this week announced a new scheme designed to stimulate the economy.

The Government will be handing out $25,000 cash grants to people to renovate their properties or build new homes under the new HomeBuilder scheme, which aims to pump tyres in the construction sector — one of the biggest employers in the country.

However, similar to the pre-election sports grants, the HomeBuilder scheme is likely to only really benefit those who are already voting for the current government, or those who could be swayed to do so.

The 25,000 taxpayer-funded grant will not be given to anyone who just wants to build a new patio, pool, tennis court or cheaply renovate their bathroom or kitchen.

Eligible applicants must use the money to build a new home (which can’t be worth more than $750,000, including land, on completion) or make expensive renovations to an existing home worth between a minimum $150,000 and a maximum $750,000.

While there is no arguing that the cash from this stimulus package will eventually end up in the intended hands of debit-card-wielding tradies – there are questions surrounding the specific demographic of Australians who get the honour of putting this money into the pockets of builders.

However, after a quick crunch of numbers by comparing data from the Australian electoral commission and the Bureau Of Statistics has found that these lucky HomeBuilder recipients are funnily enough the exact same people who voted for the Liberal Party out of fear of losing their beloved Franking Credits.

The more colloquial term for this voter block is ‘Boomers’.

The Betoota Advocate has today spoken to several aspirational post-war Betoota Grove residents who fit into this extremely targeted demographic of Quiet Australians who have an income of less than 200k per year, due to semi-retirement, but also have a equivalent to 75% of their annual income to spend on renovations on a property big enough to live in during renovations.

“It think it’s a great idea” says Roger Baird, a 68-year-old former sports equipment retailer.

“I really wouldn’t mind putting a few new rooms in the nest egg”

“For 25k, I could squeeze at least 6 more foreign students into that unofficial granny flat we picked up for 80k just before the Sydney Olympics”

“I’ve got exactly $125k sitting there for something like this. We just bang an extra floor on and throw in some bunk beds”

“How good’s ScoMo! Albo can whinge about climate change all he wants but this is how you win my vote haha”


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