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As the Coalition’s odds for an election win continue to close in just weeks off the election, Labor have today encountered another thorn in their side.

It appears the opposition’s progressive branding as woke environmentalists is being tested over the last week, by the trade union representatives currently demanding the immediate opening of the Adani megamine in Western Queensland, as both sides of the debate come to blows in the Galilee Basin.

The figurehead of the anti-Adani protests is former Greens leader Bob Brown, who led his convoy from Mackay to the inland agricultural town of Clermont on Saturday, where they met fierce resistance from locals – who don’t mind having jobs.

However, the local sentiment is to be expected – what Bill Shorten is unable to distance himself from is the droves of luxury work vehicles currently parked outside the Leo Hotel in the main street of Clermont.

This has resulted in the ALP now having to pretend to ignore the extremely awkward industrial protests that see their own card-carrying members cheering on anti-environmentalist speeches being delivered by Pauline Hanson and George ‘The Thriller In Manila’ Christensen.

Bradbury Bill Shorten has today done his best to discreetly disassociate his party from the pro-Adani activists that they are discreetly supporting, in an effort to appease their dwindling union support base.

“Boys” said Shorten, while taking a phone call from the Queensland union reps while out the back of a vegan cafe in his home electorate in Melbourne’s entitlement belt.

“Can you move the utes around the back of the pub”

“I know the CFMEU has a bit of skin in this game, but we need to pretend that we tried to stop this thing”

Shorten, who was visibly receiving a spray from the other end of the line from his puppeteers, appeared to be trying his best to make it clear that he and the party are acutely aware that there are very few opportunities for CFMEU members to make $140k per year after tax for unskilled work.

“I know, I know, I know” he said.

“But having a row of 2018 LDV T60s sitting out the front of a country pub kind of works against the whole ‘battler’ thing”

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