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With the NSW election just 10 weeks away, Premier Dominic Perrottet has has been working around the clock to move past that unfortunate Nazi costume saga.
In what can only be described as the worst start to an election campaign since Albanese forgot how many people didn’t have jobs in Australia, Perrottet came out and apologised for a distasteful fancy dress costume that no one can confirm was even photographed.
However, it was made clear to the Premier that ‘people know about it’ by his Liberal Party rival David Elliott MP, whose son works for the same pokie machine lobbyists that Perrottet has vowed to regulate.
However, despite the Liberal Party and gambling industry’s internal attempts at creating a cancel culture campaign against their own leader, it seems that this dirt file is simply a ‘warning shot’ aimed at punishing an insolent Premier for acting against their interests – as the alternative of a NSW Labor Government would probably be worse for late stage capitalists whose fortunes depend on the spilt blood of pokie-addicted working class.
Mr Perrottet has since meet with leaders of the Jewish community and apologised profusely, saying he had lived with the burden of knowing what he had done since the day after his party, when his parents told him it was wrong. It’s a very weird turn of events that really does highlight how fucking cringe and socially inept these Young Liberal nerds really are.
“I’m not focused on the past, I’m focused on driving our state forward,” Perrottet declared today, in what he hopes will be remembered as the official start of the 2022 NSW state election.
Perrottet says that at 40 years of age, he is a very different man to the edgelord Young Liberal that thought dressing up as a Nazi was the height of comedy.
“A lot has changed in my life”
“The main thing that has changed is that my wife and I have had seven kids”
While Perrottet admits he’s got a long way to go until he hits Hopoate numbers, he admits 7 kids is quite a large stable for a white boy. And with every newborn he feels even more sympathetic with different minority groups, like the Jews, or Catholic Austrian military families.
“I totally get what it’s like to be an embattled political figure with a heap of kids”
“They are all natural singers. I came home from work the other day and they’d all made lovely costumes out of the curtains”
“Luckily, we hired this really charismatic nanny that teaches the kids musicals while I’m at work trying to build the state”
“The [Sydney] Hills [District] are alive with the sound of music”