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While ICAC raids the NSW Labor party headquarters, another federal Coalition frontbencher resigns from politics over using taxpayer money to in his unsuccessful efforts to wine, dine and sixty-nine a woman nearly twenty years his junior – many voters have had to ask themselves – what the fuck do these people even do?

With pretty much every proposed social policy since Julia Gillard blocked for years by fickle backbenchers, until they are forced through a weird non-binding national vote, it has become clear that, in Australia, higher office is just a place that seems to offer nerdy youth politicians access to the power structure and unjustifiably large tax free income that they believe is required to appeal to the opposite sex.

With decades worth of whispers that indicate a culture of non-stop rooting in the halls of Parliament House, it is a relief to know that even egotistical losers with limited social skills or any understanding of life outside of youth politics Summer camps and party room sniping, can find someone willing to have sex with them.

Or at least find someone who is willing to sext them, even if they aren’t interested in anything physical or being told g’day mate during sex. As was the case of Nationals MP Andrew Broad.

“It’s a real culture issue” tweeted Laurie Oakes, former Canberra news juggernaut and prominent smooth operator.

“None of these losers know how to pick up babes in the real world lol.”

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