With the resignation of a NSW Labor leader, and whispers surrounding a number of other left wing politicians, as well as the current Geoffrey Rush defamation trial – the nation’s inner city elite are now on par with AFL fans as Australia’s most staunch apologists for sexual harassment.

In fact, so engrained is the culture of sexual entitlement and hipster chauvinism within Australia’s inner city progressive circles, it Victorian Greens may lose up to five seats in the state’s upper house – following several months of #MeToo accusations made against prominent state and federal politicians, campaigners and candidates.

After the party was rocked with internal accusations surrounding both assaults and the subsequent protection of, or indifference towards, alleged perpetrators, thousands of young privileged white hipsters are distraught that they can no longer claim moral absolution.

“Don’t get me wrong. I am 100% a feminist” says Richie Mund (27) a well-known vocal campaigner and son of two career public servants in high-paid and secure bureaucratic positions within either the ABC or the state library.

“But there’s got to be a point when, you know, people are just using the #MeToo movement to stop us from achieving our end goal. Which is to force the Australian public to have frustrating and poorly articulated debate about gender theory in primary schools”

“Not to mention, all the data we’ve been gathering on how kangaroos are nearly extinct”

Richie says that while the #MeToo movement is very important for holding AFL stars and b-list actors accountable for their treatment of women, he never thought it would get to the point where he was unable to talk over people at dinner parties.

“Like, I know plenty of examples were the accusations aren’t true and are just being used by unpaid volunteers to bring down certain politicians within our party that they have given so much time and energy to see succeed”

Richie has no doubt that some of the lesser-ranked females, who’s names he didn’t know until they inconveniently accused high-profile Greens identities of sexual harassment, have a sinister agenda.

“Who knows what they are up to. It can’t just be about wanting to air out the traumatic experiences they’ve suffered at the hands of these guys” he says.


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