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According to the conservative commentators at Sky News and The Australia, former prime ministers Kevin Rudd and Malcolm Turnbull should take cues from their predecessors and “shut up”.

That’s according to Sky News host Paul Murray, who has been ordered by Rupert Murdoch to squash any criticism of Scotty From Marketing – after the current Prime Minister returns from a week of full blown humiliation on the world stage.

Paul Murray, commonly referred to as ‘Aldi Alan Jones’ has described Turnbull and Rudd as “ghost one and ghost two” and urged them to “do what John Howard did this week and shut up”.

“When you stop being prime minister, that’s it,” said Paul Murray, a prominent political sycophant who would have given his left nut to be invited to dinner at Point Piper a week ago.

This comes after both former leaders piped up last week to simply point out that it isn’t really a good look for Australia when we have a Federal Government led by a man who lies to the leaders of important foreign allies, and then leaks their private text messages to the media to absolve himself of blame when they call him out on the world stage.

Turnbull and Rudd were unable to remain silent about what they believed to be the most embarrassing display of Australia’s role in the global economy since NRL star David Fifita got arrested for punching on nightclub bouncers in Bali.

This week Paul Murray has been joined by a chorus of Murdoch regulars, from columnists to former Liberal politicians who are demanding that every former Prime Minister just shut their mouths until they want to contribute something useful to society – like a character reference for a disgraced member of the Australian Catholic church.

“We don’t need to hear from them” wrote another grey-haired anti-PC culture wars vulture nobody has ever heard of before – in a 200 word column that has been pinballed across the front of every major newspaper within the 70% of the Australian media market owned by Rupert Murdoch.

“Unless you’ve been asked to provide a glowing endorsement of one of the most universally despised clergymen on the planet, in the face of a historic court case surrounding allegations of some of the most heinous crimes known to humankind… Just shut up and say nothing”

“That’s the only time that former Prime Ministers should offer their 2 cents”

“Scott Morrison was simply acting in our best interests when he lied to the US and French Presidents, and then lied about lying to them, before leaking sensitive correspondence to our newspapers”

“Just SHUT UP!”

“OUR PRIME MINISTER IS 100% UP TO THE JOB. STOP CRITICISING HIM!”

“EVERYTHING IS OKAY!!!”

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