ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact

The Federal Member for our bustling inland port city has told The Advocate this morning that she is looking forward to being able to drink herself silly at work and pass out drunk in the street because now she knows there’s absolutely no consequences for doing so.

The Member for Remienko, Sally Dudley, mentioned that she was always careful when mixing alcohol and work but citing recent events, she feels that she can finally let her hair down completely at work functions without fear of the media, public and her colleagues demanding she resign.

“I mean, say what you want about Barnaby (Joyce), it just goes to show that when you’re in public office, there are no repercussions for anything. He still doesn’t think he’s done anything wrong. That he’s a victim of mixing Tooheys New, Koonunga Hill, Bundaberg Rum, nicotine and benzos,” said the former Green Road State School teacher.

“On Thursday, I’m going to start drinking at lunch time and hopefully end up splayed on my back somewhere in Civic, on the phone to my husband saying how much of a dead cunt my boss is. I’ve been resisting the urge to do that for a while,”

“As a female Member of Parliament, I’ve been careful to manufacture an image of myself that I’m quietly respectful of everyone and that even people like Barnaby Joyce can share their opinion on, say female productive health, with impunity and even praise. I wouldn’t want to hurt my image and my electability by being a contrarian,”

“But things are about to change. Every planter box is now a toilet.”

More to come.


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