The nation’s former Deputy Prime Minister is kicking off the week in style, it can be confirmed this morning.

Barnaby Joyce, the New England man pocketing a few hundred grand a year to get on the piss in Canberra, has settled into a nice licensed establishment for the Super Bowl.

Smacking his lips around a nice cold Budweiser, Joyce says he couldn’t be fucked dealing with too much this Monday morning.

“It’s the Super Bowl,” shrugged the noted sports fan who watched an old replay of a Matildas game at the pub during their historic World Cup Quarter final.

The man who made headlines last week for being filmed nigh on passed out on the footpath in Canberra while yelling down the phone that some was a ‘fucking dead cunt’ – said he hasn’t got it in him this morning.

“I don’t wanna be lectured by these pious fucking nerds,” sighed Barnaby, half way through a nice breakfast kilo of wings.

“So what, I had a couple of cordials and had a lie down on the street.”

“Give me a fucking break.”

“These are proper spicy by the way,” he said, moving the conversation on.

“Might need another bucket of Buds to wash em down,” he winked, nodding at his morning hydration.

“Go the 69ers aye.”

He then shifted his body, indicating that the conversation was over.

More to come.


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