Super Bowl LVIII between the Taylor Swift Boyfriend team and the Homeless Epidemic City’s team kicked off at 10:30am AEDT today at Allegiant Stadium in Las Vegas Nevada.

And that means that thousands of Australian gambling addicts and Americophiles are taking the day off work, to get extremely pissed and eat deeply unhealthy bar food.

Australian NFL fans can catch all of the action from the Super Bowl LIVE on the internet of Channel 7, or at any number of sterile suburban taverns that are currently doing specials on cheap import beers.

One of the town’s most prominent ‘Gridiron’ fans is Damon Evans (46), an office worker born and raised in the culturally desolate McMansion belt of Betoota Heights.

We spoke to Damon about the importance of ‘Superbowl Sunday’ – which actually takes place on Monday in Australia, and only a very recent thing for Australians to care about.

“It’s actually a thrilling spectator game” says Damon, who played awkward non-team sports like tennis and swimming as kid, and therefore has no childhood footy club to support in any of the Australian domestic football codes.

It is not certain whether or not Damon’s love of NFL comes from a gambling addiction that led him to searching for new markets that are broadcast into Australia during workday hours, or if he has simply just chosen to base his entire personality around this popular American past time to fill the gaping cultural void left in his soul by the advent of the social media which has all but drowned out any ubiquitous societal experiences.

When asked what his gateway into the sport was, Damon says “he’s always liked American football” – which is the Australian way of saying “I was deeply moved by Remember The Titans as a teenager”.

Damon then gets suspicious of all the questions and begins staunchly defending his undying love of this bizarre game.

“Nah it’s just because Australian sports are shit” he says.

“It’s kind of like chess really. Basically players have to outmaneuver their opponents while being prepared to take hits from all angles”

“And the hits…. [chuckles]”

“Yeah, let’s just say these rugby or Aussie rules pansies wouldn’t last”

“Us NFL guys are way tougher”


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