ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact

The finale of landmark ABC documentary series, Leftie Big Brother, is set to screen tonight on television around the country and already, local audiences are beginning to speculate on what the last instalment holds.

Over the past two weeks, Leftie Big Brother has explored how most people in Parliament treat the whole thing like some glorified school camp and that despite their high salaries and broad responsibilities to us all, they always seem to put themselves before every other soul on this over-taxed and over-governed island.

Despite being the central villain in last season’s Leftie Big Brother, former Prime Minister Tony Abbott explained to The Advocate that he refused to take part in this season because he thinks “everyone at the ABC is a fuckwit” and they “can all go and get fucked”. Especially “that four-eyed cunt” Mike Willacy.

Though his absence is noted and provides the programme with less of a rounded story, last week’s episode on Malcolm Turnbull lay a foundation from which central players such as Tony Abbott can be judged.

Mr Turnbull told our reporter that while Tony Abbott “hasn’t put on an embarrassing and pathetic amount of weight since leaving Parliament like that fat Belgian fuck Mathias Cormann has”, he still thinks that he continues to have a malignant effect on the Liberal Party to this day.

“I think the viewers of Leftie Big Brother can make up their own minds,” he said.

“At least it didn’t cost the average Australian taxpayer 50 cents to vote for Scott Morrison at the next election after that one, it cost them much, much more.”

Tonight’s episode is centred around the prime ministership of Scott Morrison and his eventual “cruxificition” at the hands of his own ego and inability to rise to the occasion. The occasion being the worst bushfires in a hundred years, the worst pandemic in a hundred years and the resulting financial crisis that followed.

In between anecdotes of Mr Morrison leaving the gas on in the kitchen in order to see and speak to God and his live at home son Jesus and making curries “his own way”, the final episode of Lefite Big Brother will focus on how the human sun bear came to win the top job in a ballot nobody saw him winning.

Mr Morrison denied The Advocate’s request for comment on tonight’s show.

More to come.


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