The Nation

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT A local woman has today put her life at risk by taking part in one of the main forms of locomotion among legged mammals. While deciding how to best get between point A and point B, local woman Gloria Innes (27) irresponsibly assumed that she would be able to walk less than a kilometre in her leafy home suburb without running...

LOUIS BURKE | Culture | CONTACT Countless coverage outages, terrible data plans and even worse broadband – a trifecta of terrible business attributes that would cause any company to change their tact. Unless you’re Telstra, this is just another day in the office for the telecommunications giant. “We’d actually be worried if everything ran smoothly” said Gerdt Vincent, head of Telstra. “We’ve employed over 1000...

LOUIS BURKE | Culture | CONTACT Soccer fan George La Polosovicski (32) is “beyond pumped” to see the Socceroos perform in the world cup and currently only has tentative plans to start going for his grandparent's home country when the Socceroos return to Australia in a week. Having been a soccer fan his entire life, La Polosovicski states that he takes the sport very...

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT A local bloke called Clint has confirmed to colleagues today that he is going to be spending this weekend up on the Sunshine Coast. It's almost as if anyone really gave a fuck about what the chilled out logistics assistant was doing this weekend, as the 29-year-old took the time to tell a number of colleagues that he is:...

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT After centuries of being giggled at for their shallow gene pool, Tasmania, with the help of an extremely rich man named David Walsh, is now cool. Designer, curator and patron of the MONA gallery in the state's capital, Walsh has created a new dark arts scene for Tasmania - and it pairs very well with their wine and cheese. The...

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT In case you didn't notice the unnecessary chesty singlet he's wearing in the middle of June, it's worth noting that your 15-year-old cousin Tyler has taken an interest in his own body. After years of being a bit of a nerdy pipsqueak, and probably a bit more of a pretty boy than a big rig, it seems that Tyler...

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Several old papous sitting out front of a greasy spoon cafe in Betoota's Flight Path district are really giving it to each other this afternoon, it has been confirmed. Passing tourists say they were stunned by what looked like a full blown domestic dispute between local the post-war migrants, Conrad, Spiros, Yanni and Alex outside the GOOD CAFF cafe...

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT While the 1.3 million people that live in Adelaide claim that their city is no longer boring, the wine and cheese capital's most recent influx of kids throwing rocks from overpasses tells a different story. The rise in rock-throwing incidents on Adelaide's Southern Expressway has been met with half-hearted action by the state government, who says they'll eventually get...

JAMIE HOTTAKE | Outrage | CONTACT If you have had access to a social media over the last 72 hours then you'd know that a high-powered white-collar Queensland executive has resigned from his role Aveo Group’s national quality manager after being identified as Brisbane's notorious poo jogger. It is believed that the alleged fouled the private footpath of an apartment block near his Greenslopes home 30...

LOUIS BURKE | Culture | Contact Local call-centre worker Trish Barton (29) shook off the dust from last night’s binge with a 2 pm bacon and egg roll that provided everything she needed to go back to sleep. Barton and a few work colleagues decided to celebrate having three fleeting days of freedom compared to the standard two fleeting days of freedom, by getting old-school...