A local woman has today put her life at risk by taking part in one of the main forms of locomotion among legged mammals.

While deciding how to best get between point A and point B, local woman Gloria Innes (27) irresponsibly assumed that she would be able to walk less than a kilometre in her leafy home suburb without running into a man that is willing to go to prison for the rest of his life for crimes against women.

In the days since a tragic incident in Melbourne sparked a national debate over the safety of women in our country, Gloria appears defiant in the face of nationwide warnings from police and men on the internet that women should take responsibility for their safety.

“It’s just that I’ve never seen a violent criminal in my suburb before” says Gloria.

“So I assumed that I would do the math and assume there wasn’t any out and about today”

While Gloria was lucky that her reckless behaviour didn’t result in her being assaulted, harassed or murdered by a man in a public place – she has since been berated by police and men on the internet for even considering going for a walk

“In hindsight, I guess it was incautious to assume that I could be safe walking in the streets of a middle class suburb in a first world country” she says.

“But men are more common than you think. I saw several from a distance today

Typically slower than running, walking is defined by an ‘inverted pendulum’ gait in which the body vaults over the stiff limb or limbs with each step. This applies regardless of the number of limbs—even arthropods, with six, eight or more limbs, walk.

While seen as a practical form of ambulation for men, it is increasingly less practical for females – as it exposes them to men.


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