The Nation

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Australia's hipster community have today clarified that you aren't imagining it, and yes their sunnies are getting smaller. This follows yesterdays report of cultural appropriation within the surfer-hipster community, as Greek fishermen accuse Triple J hottest 100 winners Ocean Alley of cultural appropriation. However, even with Greek fisherman hats, train driver hats, jelly sandals and birkenstocks becoming common place amongst...

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT A local man has today impressed his online date with his ability to recall the concerning statistics about men suffering at the hands of violent women. His men's rights sermon appears to have been triggered by a light-hearted discussion about last week's Gillette ad - it's a conversation topic that his dinner guest now really regrets bringing up. Despite the...

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact A city worker, who is better than the majority of his colleagues for packing a lunch, has once again failed to sell the positives of being frugal by showcasing yet another pathetic attempt at a midday meal. Forking his way through the leftovers of a weekend roast, Dominic Hartwell, an associate robot at Betoota's...

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT A local acquaintance who grew up in Canberra has today pointed out that they actually know a random sportsperson from the particular sport you are talking about. The athlete, who must be a recent NBA recruit or a tennis player, or a non-team-sport playing Olympian, was apparently good company and pretty good at other sports - before ultimately being...

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact As the annual debate around January 26 swirled over the weekend, comments made by an aging relic from the golden age of television have grabbed headlines around the nation. Despite being an absurdly wealthy, privileged Baby Boomer, the nation was surprised and shocked to learn that Kerri-Anne Kennerley was capable of making incredibly racist comments...

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | Contact A local sales professional deep with the Betoota Heights Sowest Business Park has cited her close, possibly made up, ties to the Aboriginal during a discussion about the inclusiveness of Australia Day. Kass Sully (56) says she believes there's a difference between the 200,000 people that marched throughout the capital cities over the weekend, and everyday Aboriginal people, like...

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | Contact A prominent post-war migrant from Betoota's light industrial flight path district has today accused popular Northern Beaches sticky-reggae band Ocean Alley for IP theft. The 67-year-old fisherman spoke to The Betoota Advocate during his 5am smoko today at the Diamantina wharves. "This hat I'm wearing.." he said. "This used to cost me $15 dollars at Theo's Menswear at the Flight Path...

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | Contact In sensational news out of Central America this afternoon, the Mexican Government has announced that it will be adopting some NSW Government policy. This comes after the NSW Government rolled out $400 on the spot fines for people caught with drugs, in an effort to avoid pill testing somehow. Police Minister Troy Grant says it'll help courts and police...

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT A recent report by the punters has found that former Australian cricketer and current Fox cricket commentator, Kerry O'Keefe, is absolutely loving his new gig. On top of the fact that the Australian side are finally showing a bit of momentum against Sri Lanka, and the fact that he is now warm in his new on-screen role, The Skull...

TRACEY BENDINGER | Culture | Contact Retelling a story from the night before, foreign girl Emma Splinder has just used the word ‘snogging’ as if it was a normal way to describe kissing someone. Reports from the scene say Emma was able to say the word up to 3 times while keeping a straight face. The English account exec moved out to Betoota to...