The Nation

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact A local city worker walks past the French Quarter Aesop shop each evening on his way home from the office. He knows everything inside is needlessly expensive; it's just a bit of soap he tells himself. But Bran Wilson knows that for every birthday, anniversary or Mother's Day present, he can duck into this shop, spend...

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Local meathead, Stirling Flatley-Cooper (33) says he's never partied as hard as he did at the Hong Kong Rugby 7s. "Haha. For like four days man. Non-stop" In fact, the Betoota Grove-based stockbroker says the recent images of Hong Kong police clashing with protestors in Central has reminded him he needs to get cracking on organising his bucks party. "oi we...

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact A Betoota Heights 12-year-old has shocked those in his direct company today by not acting like an attention-seeking little shit around them - despite being the middle of three children. Blake Jayden says he feels comfortable with the current level of relevance he has within his family unit, telling reporters this afternoon that he's happy...

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT As far as Andre Colby is concerned, there is actually no point to half the shit people call art nowadays. The Betoota Heights-based pokie rep says he was less than impressed by a recent visit to Brisbane's Gallery Of Modern Art. "Whatever happened to just painting a picture of a person?" he says. "Or a boat... None of that shit made...

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact Australia's peak scientific body has released a statement today urging the petulant millennials, who think they should be allowed to own a home and go on overseas holidays each year, to ditch their annual trip to Europe in September and visit the Great Barrier Reef before it dies. Speaking candidly to the media this morning...

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact A French Quarter father is blaming a passing fire truck this morning for causing his toddler's latest public meltdown, telling our reporters that the emergency vehicle 'ripped' the control rods out of his son. Dale Penk said his youngest son, Brett, has a penchant for big things that move such as trains, plane and trucks...

ELLIE POPOV | Lady Writer | Contact A self-described communist has reportedly been swooned by a date's red flag overnight. Denise McTavish, of Betoota Heights, said she initially felt 'trepidatious' about going back to Cameron Speek's house after an afternoon spent hanging out but felt vindicated upon seeing what hanged above his bed. "It was a giant red flag," she said. "A flag...

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact An America who fled the third-world for the green pastures of our cosmopolitan desert community has told friends this afternoon that he felt overwhelmed by homesickness when he saw a man going about his business in town with a gun on his hip. The man was later identified as a plain-clothed policeman. But that doesn't change...

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact A French Quarter woman says she's feeling excited for the upcoming weekend - which is an increasingly rare occurrence, she says. Kath Peoink works in our town's bustling sports management industry, where she manages a number of blue-chip clients on a mezzanine level at a boutique, bespoke social media agency that's largely kept solvent from...

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Once home to the thriving timberlopping and dolphin mince industries of yesteryear, the Mid-To-North-North-NSW town of Lininwunsie has seen a rapid transformation over the last decade. Pre-gentrification locals, of which there don't seem to be many, say they aren't sure whether it was the Pete-Murray-heavy music festivals of the early 2000s, or the fifth Hemsworth buying a house in...