ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact

Australia’s peak scientific body has released a statement today urging the petulant millennials, who think they should be allowed to own a home and go on overseas holidays each year, to ditch their annual trip to Europe in September and visit the Great Barrier Reef before it dies.

Speaking candidly to the media this morning in Canberra, out the front of their chronically-underfunded marine biology building, Professor Robert Clarke from the CSIRO said this latest toursim campaign for the reef is ‘quite depressing’ but ‘totally necessary’.

“Every single Baby Boomer on this planet has bleached coral on their hands,” opened Professor Clarke.

“Their outright refusal to do anything when they had the chance to save the reef is disgusting. They all ought to be ashamed of themselves. This is the legacy you’ve left your children and their children. A dead reef,”

“So, rather than spending your tax return buying craft beer and fried fucking cod in Camden Town or greening out in some park in Amsterdam while your friends hold you in the recovery position, how about you spend your money in North Queensland in communities that need it more? I mean, fuck, is it that hard to fathom? London is overrated and it fucking sucks, by the way.”

Locally, our reporter canvassed a number of youngsters around town and none of them seemed to heed Professor Clarke’s advice.

While most of them feel for the reef, they’d rather go to Europe just because.

None were willing to go on the record, however.

More to come.


Please enter your comment!
Please enter your name here