The Nation

Australia Pretends To Care About Royal Family Member That Isn’t Diana

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Most of Australia is today enjoying a day off in celebration of the birth of a Royal Family member that isn't Princess Diana. As is a tradition, the 2nd Monday of June is a national public holiday to celebrate the Queen's Birthday for everyone except WA and ironically Queensland, who instead choose to make up...

Guitar Store Employees Endure 32nd Amateur Rendition Of ‘7 Nation Army’ This Week

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Tom Davis started working at a Bill’s Guitars in Adelaide when he finished school because, as you can probably guess, he loves music. Granted, he does also need to pay the bills while he gets through his music course at university, but generally the 21 year old loves everything to do with the musical sector of the arts. However,...

Student On Academic Probation Asks If That Group Project Had His Name On It

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact A South Betoota Technical College student, who was labelled 'At-Risk' by the institution just last week, has reached out to the de facto leader of his group assignment that was due at 9 this morning - in the hope that his name was somewhere on it. Kevin Suttonford, a 24-year-old communications second-year, freely admitted to The...

Report: 9 out of 10 newspaper subeditors speak Egnlish as a second language

7 June, 2017. 13:23 ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact A startling new report into the declining newspaper industry has concluded that nearly every one of the nation's sixteen subeditors not only speaks English as a second language, but is in the country on a controversial 457 visa. The report, commissioned by The Walkeley Foundation, was in response to the latest figures...

Albanian movie pirate outsmarts room full of copyright lawyers once again

7 June, 2017. 13:23 ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact Speaking to The Advocate via an end-to-end encrypted messenger app, an Albanian teenager who enjoys circumventing Australia's copyright laws has revealed how he's once again outsmarted a room of lawyers trying to stop him. Pavel, who chose to remain anonymous, said that our nation's broadcasters can block as many URLs as they...

Indiana Jones franchise set to return with “Quest for the Coldest Tin”

7 June, 2017. 13:23 ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact Everyone's favourite archaeologist-turned-adventurer is slated to return to the silver screen in 2019 with Indian Jones and the Quest For The Coldest Tin. Harrison Ford is reportedly the first big name signed onto the project, with rumours circulating that Eric Bana and another Hollywood A-lister are also poised to join. The film is set...

ASIO Investigating Nation’s Baristas After Alleged Hate Crime Against Andrew Bolt

.CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Australian intelligence agencies have announced they are investigating possible links to free-trade coffee retailers and frequenters of university library lawns, after conservative commentator Andrew Bolt was allegedly set upon by a gang of protesters outside a Melbourne book launch on Tuesday. Footage broadcast by Bolt on his Sky News program appears to show two men attacking him outside...

Fragile Barrier Reef Haunted By Celine Dion Music As QLD Government Signs Off On Adani

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Scientists monitoring the Great Barrier Reef have revealed that the entire natural wonder was haunted by the solemn sounds of Celine Dion this afternoon, at roughly the same time as the final investment approval for the multi-billion dollar Adani mine in central Queensland was confirmed by the government. Scientists describe the phenomenon as very similar to the final...

ICAC asks Annastacia Palaszczuk to pencil in preemptive May 2021 hearing date

6 June, 2017. 8:34 ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact The Independent Commission Against Corruption has asked the Premier of Queensland to keep May of 2021 free just in case they need to speak to her about the controversial Adani Coal Mine being greenlighted this afternoon. Tim Fisher, a spokesman for the corruption watchdog, wanted to make it emphatically clear that Annastacia Palaszczuk...

Are Fidget Spinners Dangerous For Kids? Probably Not, But Teachers Fucking Hate Them

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Fidget spinners can apparently kill, maim and blind your innocent blonde-haired children, that's according a growing community of teachers that want to murder the inventor of this new toy. The top draw of teachers desks in classrooms across the country are gradually filling up, it has been reported. As educators confiscate the new craze of cheap plastic toy...

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