The Nation

Pedestrian.tv content writer scribbles ‘This Machine Kills Fascists’ on the lid of his work laptop

13 October, 2016. 17:34 ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact IN A FIT OF NOSTALGIA, a local Pedestrian.tv content producer scrawled a quote by immortal American folk musician, Woody Guthrie, across the lid of his work laptop. This Machine Kills Fascists. He did it not to spite his employer, or to make a statement as he walks through the office with his head...

Nick Kyrgios breaks down in tears after sports psychologist tells him that “it’s not his fault”

13 October, 2016. 10:03 ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact AUSTRALIAN TENNIS PRODIGY NICK Kyrgios has bowed out of the Shanghai Masters overnight and into a firestorm of malicious accusations, with some commentators accusing him of "tanking". The 21-year-old capitulated in 48 minutes, 6-3 6-1 in the second round at the hands of 110th-ranked qualifier Mischa Zverev. Following the shock defeat, the Canberra...

Man with zero spatial awareness trampled to death outside busy train station

13 October, 2016. 10:03 ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact A WEST END MAN has had his life support switched off this morning after he was trampled to death outside Roma Street station by thousands of commuters around 7:30am local time. Police understand that 32-year-old Wayne Connor suffered from a lack of spatial awareness, which can often lead to personal injury -...

High schooler thinks he’s Eminem after smoking his first marijuana

12 October, 2016. 11:34 ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact AT AGE 16, SAMUEL MICKAYLA received a swift clip under his right ear from his old man after yelling, "Yeah?! Whatchu gonna do, dawg? Ground me, bitch?" in his mother's face. She'd just smelt smoke on the misunderstood highschooler, who's just been labelled as "At Risk" by his principal. Though his father says...

Perth gripped by critical soda charge shortage as POND releases new single

12 October, 2016. 11:34 ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact PERTH BAND POND released a brand new single "Sweep Me Off My Feet" earlier this week to great fanfare and anticipation - however, the landmark record has left Western Australia in the midst of a soda charge shortage. Perth-based SodaStream uses are starting down the prospect of drinking non-carbonated liquid for up...

EMBARRASSING! Mike Baird’s pants split open after being bent over yet again

12 October, 2016. 11:34 ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact THE PREMIER OF NEW SOUTH WALES was left embarrassed after his trousers split open as he prepared to announce a 'relaxation' on takeaway alcohol legislation. Speaking to the media this morning in Sydney, Mike Baird was about to speak before he dropped some papers. As he bent over to pick them up,...

Samoan Mate Unable To Provide Any Evidence To Claims That He’s Related To The Rock

  CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Local Samoan, Joseph Vuno, cannot sit in the TAB of any pub without pointing out that someone on the screen is a member of his extended family. While perched in the centre of the Lord Betoota Hotel on Sunday afternoon, Joseph made it clear to his palagi friends, that he comes from a long...

Tony Abbott Shocked That His Sister And Her Housemate Support Gay Marriage

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Former Prime Minister Tony Abbott has today stated that any men who feel the need to lay with mankind the way they lay with womankind, should stop being so politically correct. "The same goes for the women who have somehow found a way to have sex with other women" he says. The conservative Catholic has kicked...

Local townie heads out for another busy evening of shooting road signs

11 October, 2016. 12:34 ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact TAKING SOME TIME OUT from his hectic schedule, Nathan Delaney followed up a busy day of throwing rocks at passing cars on a local highway with a barmy evening of shooting local road signs. The 29-year-old unemployed ski instructor has made a home for himself in the small northern NSW town of Bingara,...

Bloke Who Doesn’t Known Anyone At Party Shows Off Unique Sense Of Humour By Yelling ‘Taxi!’

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT In a cringeworthy display of immaturity, Ed Hatton (28) is still yelling 'Taxi' every time someone spills a drinks or smashes a glass, in any social situation. The once classic gag, that Hatton learnt at a footy club he played for in 2006, is now considered to be the ultimate faux-pas - but it is...

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