The Nation

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT A monument paying tribute to a famous slave master has been torn down and thrown into the Betoota canals today. Protesters used ropes to pull down the local Nike outlet in Betoota's French Quarter, a prominent 20th Century slave trader, who has been a source of controversy in the city for many years. Crowds cheered as the historical figure, known...

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact A young Betoota Heights man with a slight temperature and scratch throat has gone back for another precautionary COVID-19 test today, just days after his last one. Mikey Daltone has had 89 coronavirus tests in three months. The 27-year-old had his first one after coming into contact with a cousin that returned home from New...

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | ContactA man descendant from First Fleet convicts has told The Advocate today that he (and his like-minded friends) have been keeping an eye on a statue of Governor Lachlan Macquarie because it represents his heritage. That's despite Macquarie having a reputation for brutalising and torturing convicts - as well as Aboriginal Australians. Craig O'Leary said...

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact Somebody's son from Betoota Grove has been able to absolutely own gender theory today after taking just one sip of single malt Scotch. Dudley Hanman, who found the Scotch Whiskey on the internet after reading some kickass reviews, said he was expecting the 'delicious elixir' to give him a heightened sense of clarity - but...

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT The ARIA-winning Australian satirical prank call character of Guido Hatzis has been officially cancelled today, after several ABC employees rediscovered several Youtube videos of hilarious skits that used to make them laugh before Twitter was invented. This comes in the wake of Netflix and BBC removing comedy series "Little Britain" and "Summer Heights High" from their platforms - after...

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact Stuart Robert, the Minister for Government Services and the NDIS, has fucked up again. His job is safe for the time being because Scott Morrison explained they haven't been able to find him the right board to sit on for the remainder of his professional life. The Prime Minister spoke to this masthead this...

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact The Federal Government has looked to social media companies this week to help get Australians 'out and about' now that the coronavirus restrictions have begun to ease. In particular, Instagram has heeded the call and have started to trial messaging that encourages their users to put the phone down and go for a walk or...

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT Police around the country have today been urged to take the same level of due diligence they've shown the nation's statues, to indigenous people who come into their custody. This follows huge numbers of police standing guard around notable statues and busts of historical figures to prevent vandals spraying a bit of paint on them. Despite effectively no...

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact Sitting in Machattie Park, watching the geese swim by. These small things in Conor Carmichael's life have slowly become pleasures. "Time out of mind," he says. Conor has just turned 30. He thought it'd change a lot of things about his life. Would he feel older? Did he think he'd still be able to keep up...

LOUIS BURKE | Culture | CONTACT Gambling machine manufacturer Aristocrat Leisure Ltd. announced today that they too would do their bit to fight COVID-19 by gifting all frontline health workers 10 free spins on any of their poker machines. The news has come as a huge relief to the overtired masses of healthcare individuals who risk their safety to help treat a pandemic. According...