The Nation

Dad Spends 10 Minutes Giving Directions Despite Being Repeatedly Told It’s Up On Google Maps

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT A local father of four has wasted a significant amount of time today, explaining directions to his son who owns and iPhone. Darren Gibbs overhead his son Shane talking to his girlfriend Khris earlier about what would be the quickest way to get to their friend's place in the Golf Course Estate. “What’s the street?” he interrupted? “Oh Stratheden Street, right...

Traveller Preps For Flight By Wearing Neck Pillow Nine Hours Before Takeoff

LOUIS BURKE | Culture | CONTACT While some of us rush to get our holiday packing done, traveller Lindsey Khoury (32) prepares for her getaways well in advance. Her latest piece of preparation being a neck pillow she placed on her shoulders nine hours before her flight was due to take off. While in the line for baggage check-in, Khoury was seen wearing the neck pillow,...

Local Woman Gets Real With Self And Leaves Activewear Out Of Holiday Suitcase

LOUIS BURKE | Culture | CONTACT A local corporate tax lawyer Rachel Hirst (34) has kicked off her summer holiday with realistic expectations, opting to leave her activewear and running shoes behind. Although the Fijian resort she will be staying at has full gym facilities, Hirst is sure that at no point during her ten-day stay will she realistically want to make use of them. “Plus,...

Murri Christmas: Uncle From Out West Reckons Pavlova Goes Great With Holbrooks Sauce

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT A Murri household in Brisbane is today coming to terms with the fact that their uncle from Charleville will actually pour Worcestershire sauce over anything served on a plate. After a week of reunions and surprise visitors over Christmas, the Gayton family are now left with the stragglers, including the the relatives that made the distance from way out...

Rebellious Teenager Secretly Stoked About Getting Cluedo

KENT REGINALD | Entertainment | CONTACT A local rebellious teenager who hates everything is secretly super stoked at getting a brand new Cluedo for Chrissy this year, The Betoota Advocate can reveal. In an undercover investigation conducted by one of our reporters, it was confirmed that Mandy Thompson, 17, was only pretending that she hates Christmas and her family, and was privately absolutely chuffed that...

NRMA Warns: Drivers Beware Of Busier Roads, Sunburnt Kids Fucking Around In Backseat

The roads in and out out of all of the nation's major cities are grid locked as a result of this mass migration, as cars full of parents and children sit bumper to bumper in the heat, hitting the road after Christmas. The National Roads and Motorists' Association, known as NRMA has confirmed to the Advocate that not only is this...

Turnbull Still Confused As To Why Vandals Spray Painted Japanese Flag On Macquarie Statue

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Ahead of the annual argument surrounding the date of Australia Day, Malcolm Turnbull has sought answers from deep within the left-wing faction of his political party, as to why protestors continually spray paint the Japanese flag on colonial figures of invasion. This comes three months after the Prime Minister described the vandalism of statues of Captain Cook and former...

Report: Does Mum Have To Be Any Clearer About No Glass In The Pool?

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT A recent report by the Australian Pool Safety association has delved into whether or not it has actually sunk in that a local mum doesn't want anyone drinking out of glass while in or near the pool. It appears the four or five times she has very loudly mentioned this rule might not have been enough, as her middle...

Local Kiwi Will Never Be As Cool As He Was Krumping At The Train Station In High School

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | Contact For Tane Wellington, there has been a lot of positives that came from growing up in both Australia and New Zealand. For one, he was exposed to two of the best public education systems in the southern hemisphere. Two, he can now choose what football team he supports, whether it is the All Blacks or The Wallabies, based on...

Cousins From Down South Ask If You Packed Your Cossies, Whatever The Hell That Means

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | Contact As families across the country reunite for Christmas celebrations, it has been reported that young Queenslanders are continually being confused by the varying terminology and dialects of their southern cousins. Earlier this week The Betoota Advocate reported on the noted inter-state discrepancies regarding backyard cricket, with Southern NSW and Victorians unable to recognise the commonly accepted street rules known...

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