The Nation

Euthanasia becomes legal for people who drank prosecco the night before

29 June, 2016. 9:04 ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact IF YOU'RE WAKING UP FROM a long hard night on the prosecco, there's some light at the end of the tunnel. Childbirth and femoral fractures are considered less painful than a hangover induced by the fancy-sounding fizzy pop - with some comparing it to having your head split in half with a...

Local dumb cunt opposes Gonski plan

29 June, 2016. 15:45 ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact GREGOR MARTIN LIKES TO remain impartial politically, but he agrees that he can't stand idly by while a government spends his tax dollars on frivolities like the Gonski Plan. Penning an open letter to The Advocate, the 37-year-old lollipop man has voiced his outrage with both the incumbent government and the opposition...

Six years on, stockbrokers gather to remember and laugh about Occupy Sydney protests

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact JUST A WEEK OR TWO AFTER he was made a senior portfolio manager at his boutique Martin Place private asset management firm, Michael McAlister said he treated himself to a new suit. Not just any bit of common rag, this one was different. Sourced from the finest merino wool and stitched together by the most-skilled of...

Betoota Presents: The Honourable Bob Katter MP Tells His Most Infamous Yarns

28 June, 2016 13:40 EDITORIAL | CONTACT The 2016 election campaign has shown itself to be a very boring one and media outlets are doing their very best to give this thing some blood. Whether it's the faux-outrage machine or the vague Panama conspiracies, there is not clearly not enough scandal to keep the voters engaged for eight full weeks. It's for this reason that...

Strict Aussie Gun Laws Results In Nerdy White Guys Getting Neck Tatts To Look Hard

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact THE WORLD IS A DANGEROUS PLACE which is why God gave us guns to defend ourselves. However, in this socialist paradise formally known as Australia, ordinary kind-hearted citizens aren't allowed to arm themselves for their own protection. So rather than risk a lengthy gaol term and a criminal conviction, law-abiding Australians are being forced to get...

Local journalism student one day dreams of being Charlie Pickering

25 June, 2016. 13:34 ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact DESPITE BEING UNDER 25 AND politically active, Graham White says life is worth living - because if he tries hard enough, he'll get what he wants. The 23-year-old wants to be Charlie Pickering. But there's a number of substantial hurdles that are lying in wait for the happy-go-lucky Brisbaneian, things like him being able...

Elton John rewrites ‘Candle in the Wind’ in tribute to plummeting British pound

24 June, 2016. 17:01 ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact NOT SINCE THE DARK DAYS of Margaret Thatcher's Britain has the British pound been in worse shape. With great predictable English panache, immortal singer Elton John is planning to rewrite Candle in the Wind in the wake of the Brexit vote. While some have suggested that John is double-dipping on the moving piece, with...

Shane Warne tells Charlie Sheen ‘the best drug on Earth is taking 5 on Day 4’

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact BACK WHEN DOCTORS PRESCRIBED Ashes highlights for erectile dysfunction, Shane 'Keith' Warne was taking crucial wickets on a dead pitch in central London. That was 2005. Yesterday, Warne confident in US actor Charlie Sheen, telling him that there's no better drug than taking five on Day 4 of a Test match. "To be honest, I didn't know what...

Inside Scott Morrison’s painful life as a high-net-worth white male in Canberra

22 June, 2016. 15:34 ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact UPHOLDING THE TEACHINGS of Christ and praising His moral standards on high has been at the core of Scott Morrison for his entire life. Hearing his political allies and opponents snigger behind his back as he strode through the corridors of Parliament House slowly chipped away at him. He tossed and turned every night...

A Girl’s Guide To Dating A Thiccboi Memelord

INGRID DOULTON | Lady Writer | Contact YOU'RE GOING TO HEAR the term "dank" thrown around in ways that don't describe the air in your dad's damp cellar. My boyfriend spends nearly every waking moment he's not looking at me looking at his phone. Occasionally, he'll laugh and smirk - but he never shows me why. He says I wouldn't get it. On...

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