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Rugby Australia has summoned the king marketing pigeon to the CEO’s office this morning after learning there are still thousands of tickets left on sale for Saturday night’s do-or-die Bledisloe Match in Sydney.

Though he’s been handed a basket case that’s devoid of any real money or direction, interim RA CEO Rob Clarke has demanded answers from his pigeons.

“I know we haven’t had the money to advertise anywhere except rugby club piss troughs but this is taking the piss,” he told one unlucky flying rat.

“We spent so much money on that jazzy video of the boys doing flick passes and stuff, the one where we disrespected the immense service David Pocock as given to the sport. What did that result in? Fuck all from my point of view,”

“Now you listen to me, you stupid pigeon! Get out there and sell those tickets. I don’t care how you do it, just get them sold.”

It’s understood by The Advocate that one of the 23 pigeons caught by Rugby Australia earlier this month has put forward a proposal to ferry Wallaby fans from the Sydney Rugby Union “Shute Sheild” grand final at the harbourside Leichhardt Oval out to ANZ Stadium was flatly rejected by the Rugby Australia board.

It was rejected for being “too practical of a solution”, according to one pigeon.

The story contines.

More to come.


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