The Nation

Inner-City Leftie Clarifies That He’s A ‘Whitefulla’ In Case You Got Confused By His Patronising Use Of Aboriginal Slang

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Australia Day. It's only been an national public holiday since 1988, and since the Bicentenary it has become quite a divisive issue. Aboriginal people have never really like it because they feel it is an inconsiderate way to remember a date that marks the beginning of an invasion. Nationalists like it because it makes them feel a...

Considerate Uber Passenger Manages To Get Most Of Her Chunder Out The Window

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Considerate Uber passenger, Clare Hurley (22) has gone extra lengths for her 5-star rating early this morning. Following a lengthy session in Fortitude Valley, Clare felt the thirteen sauv blancs and two vodka red bulls making a dash for her pharynx. As most young Australians do, after a day at the races - or any other event where...

Meet the bloke whose nipples are ‘too feminine’ for social media

17 January, 2017. 10:15 ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact Facebook and partner company Instagram have come under fire this afternoon from an out-of-work Betoota tennis coach today as yet anther one of his 'topless' holiday pictures was removed. Speaking to The Advocate this afternoon, Glenn Morrison of Kiora Cresent explained that he felt personally victimised by the multinational corporations. "I can't help...

Mates form pact to delete each other’s browser history should one of them die

17 January, 2017. 10:15 ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact Two North Betoota mates formed a pact overnight to clear each other's browser history in the event that either of them dies. Ernie Collins and Bernard Stevenson relocated to town late last year from Darlinghurst, on Sydney's Upper East Side. They're classic blokes who love a stitch-up as much as the next bloke...

QLD Police Social Media Team Release Hilarious ‘Harlem Shake’ Video 44 Months Late

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT The cheeky and much loved Queensland Police Service have released a side-splitting video of some of their officers doing the Harlem Shake, after taking 44 months to realise what it was. The video features officers from the Toowoomba Local Area Command doing the shake, which took the world by storm in 2013, 44 months ago. The...

Report Finds 70% Of Sexy, Sultry, Facial Expressions A Result Of Undiagnosed Cataracts

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT A recent report from the Fred Hollows Foundation has found that supermodels, porn stars and actors have some of the worst eyesight in the world. The charity, that aims to 'put an end to all avoidable blindness' have conducted a study into why hot people often look like they haven't visited an optometrist for a...

Local Gym Reports A Sharp Increase In Pieces Of Shit Lying To Themselves

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact A gaggle of North Betoota gym junkies are rejoicing this morning after discovering that nearly every new year resolution member has since lost interest in changing the direction of their lives. Arriving shortly before 6 AM, local orthodontist Greg Lootmahn was expecting to see the usual January smorgasbord of portly Betootanese residents flogging themselves to death on...

Thousands March In Adelaide Demanding Shannon Noll’s Release From The Drunk Tank

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Thousands of Australian country-pop-rock and enthusiasts and generally proud Australians have taken to the streets of Adelaide this afternoon to protest the incarceration of the former Australian Idol runner up and Australian heartland rock singer Shannon Noll. Noll was arrested outside a Hindley Street strip club in Adelaide early this morning, and charged with two...

Carinda pauses to remember David Bowie: “The poof who danced in our pub”

14 January, 2017. 12:23 ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact Just over a year since his passing, the residents of a tiny community in the New South Wales north-west has paused this morning to remember the life of British rockstar, David Bowie. The one-horse-whistle-stop town of Carinda played host to Bowie when he filmed the video for the 1983 smash hit "Let's Dance." At...

Nine employees asked to raise their hand if they’ve been personally victimised by Amber Sherlock

13 January, 2017. 12:23 ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact The Nine Network has gone into lockdown this afternoon after footage was leaked to an online news outlet that showcased presenter Amber Sherlock belittling and berating colleague Julie Snook over an apparent wardrobe clash. Every employee at the North Sydney studio was called into auditorium shortly before lunch, where it's being reported that...

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