The Nation

Goondiwindi Grandmother Insists Dark Features Come From ‘Spanish Ancestors’

20 July, 2016 14:45 CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT A 75-year-old Goondiwindi woman has once again today reiterated her theory that there was a large population of dark-haired Southern Europeans living in Western Queensland several generations ago. Despite the fact that her family tree strictly states that her ancestors have been in the district for over 120 years, without any signs of European surnames,...

AFP Investigating Dancing With The Stars Over Links To Extremism

20 July, 2016 14:45 CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT The Australian Federal Police have reportedly raided the HSV-7  (Global Television) studios in Melbourne this afternoon in response to the increasing accusations that the Channel Seven reality TV Program, Dancing With The Stars has links to extremism and hate-preaching throughout the living rooms of our country's jaded middle class. The AFP received a tip off after Labor...

ABC Media Watch Now Solely Focused On Explaining The Internet To Old People

19 July, 2016 11:45 CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Local old person, John Solander (67) says that he didn't know people could read news online until about a fortnight ago. "I just thought that bloody thing was for pornography and terrorists recruiting, I had no idea that they were publishing news on it..." he said. "Media Watch has been explaining a lot of this too me....

National Art School Students Vow To Keep Painting As Baird Replaces Teachers With Pokie Machines

18 July, 2016 16:45 CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT The uncomfortably youthful and open-minded students from the National Art School have today vowed to keep attempting to learn, despite the fact that their teachers are gradually being replaced by state-sanctioned pokie machines - as the NSW State Government decides what to do with some perfectly good real estate not too far from the...

Plans to put Sonia Kruger out to pasture on Sky News gains traction

18 July, 2016. 15:45 ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact FOLLOWING COMMENTS SHE MADE on the Today Show this morning, the Nine Network has announced plans to put Sonia Kruger 'out to pasture' on Sky News until she retires. The Toowoomba girl called for Australia to stop taking in Muslim migrants, citing a recent article by News Corp columnist Andrew Bolt, which linked terrorism...

Entrepreneurial tramp has PayPass™ terminal installed on forehead

18 July, 2016. 12:34 ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact THE SEISMIC FINANCIAL SHIFT TOWARD a cashless economy is doing the nation's homeless out of the job, a recent report has suggested. Australians are, on average, carrying less cash than ever before. Only a generation ago,  there was no option than to have some folding stuff or a chequebook in your back pocket. Now,...

Ex-Private Schooler Receives 5th Section Ten After Being Caught With Some Round Ones

JASON CUTJAR | Forensics editor | Contact A Mosman man has again escaped conviction after appearing at the Downing Centre Local Court on Friday afternoon. Charged with possessing a commercial quantity of a prohibited drug, after being found with 8 capsules of MDMA, Mr Charles Fishburn assured the Court “this will never happen again”.   Initially denying responsibility for the MDMA, claiming...

Officials fish leaves, drowned cat out of Rio Olympic pool ahead of opening ceremony

14 July, 2016. 13:34 ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact PREPARATIONS FOR THE RIO Olympic Games are at fever pitch, with leaves and a dead cat being fished out of the Olympic Pool ahead of the opening ceremony of August 5. Said to be stiffer than a surfboard and skinner than a rake, the sodden feline was just one of countless mammals...

Launceston Police are hunting the “Inceston Bandit”

12 July, 2016. 15:34 ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact THERE IS A VANDAL IN the Tasmania brothel town of Launceston who keeps defacing signs bearing the city's name - and police want to talk to him. Dubbed the "Launceston Bandit" by The Daily Examiner, the identity of the pervert is unknown. However, footprints found near the scene of one of the...

“Pokémon GO Has Nothing On Snake II” Says Toowoomba Man

11 July, 2016. 11:05 CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | Contact When it comes to travelling around an augmented reality capturing token prizes, Toowoomba man Antony Grant (37) says Pokémon GO has nothing on the skillset required to reach level 220 with nothing more than four buttons and a 84 × 48 pixel pure monochrome display. The 32-year-old telemarketer from Toowoomba, QLD says he is often...

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