The Nation

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact A man from our town's aspirational Heights District has given up on ever experiencing good government today and decided that after the events of the past few weeks, the best form of government is no government. "I hate them all," said Darcy Teer, a marginally-employed landscapers who's had enough. "Any elected official in this country....

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT After Brisbane went into lockdown earlier this week as a result of two Covid clusters, the virus has now been sighted in NSW's north. A case was found in Byron Bay last night, leading the NSW government to implement mandatory masks and other restrictions in the Northern Rivers. No more that 30 visitors will be allowed into a...

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT In a landmark moment for the nation, the Federal Opposition Leader has laid down a bold future for Australia. Anthony Albanese is set to unveil a nation-building policy that will make electric vehicles slightly cheaper for the average citizen. If the Labor Party wins the next election, which now looks like more than likely with this life-changing...

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact At the conclusion of the Australian Civil War in 2055, the Bundaberg Trials were conducted in part with the cooperation between the Free Australian State, their allies and the UN International Court of Justice. The conflict, which began in 2049 when the 89-year-old West Australian President Troy Buswell ordered the extra-judicial killing of Eastern loyalists...

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact Popular backbencher Barnaby Joyce told reporters this morning that he's actively planning an armed robbery today after learning that even if he gets caught, he won't lose his job on the spot. Mr Joyce, who explained to reporters a few years ago that his salary wasn't enough to garnish his lifestyle, is said to be...

Proud lawnsmen across the River City are today rejoicing at the news that their Premier has given them full permission to do nothing for three days but work on the yard. This comes as Greater Brisbane will go into a three-day snap lockdown after recording 10 new cases of the damn coronavirus, four of which are community transmission and linked...

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact Though he felt like it, first-year law student Gavin Hoskings didn't sleep in and skip his morning lecture today. That would've been the first class the 18-year-old would've missed, a bad habit he said he didn't want to fall into. However, the mild-overachiever broke with his own strict internal protocol this afternoon and enjoyed a mainstream...

Clancy Overell and Wendell Hussey kick off another day in news, live from the Budgy Smuggler Booth.

EFFIE BATEMAN | BRISBANE| CONTACT Local woman, Jescinta Thompson is just dying to talk smack about a mutual acquaintance. So much so, she's been trying to find an appropriate break in the conversation to segue for approximately fifteen minutes now. However, considering the chat amongst her mates has been quite lighthearted, Jescinta doesn’t want to be the one responsible for dampening the mood....

FRANKIE DeGROOT | News | CONTACT A quick-thinking local Mum is being hailed a hero today after executing a citizen’s arrest of a man she found robbing her house.  Mother of 2 Linda Scarse returned from her job at Betoota General Insurance to find petty criminal Gerald Huxley, 33, in her kitchen, tipping the contents of the change jar into a pillow case.  “When I walked...