The Nation

TRACEY BENDINGER | Social Nuances | Contact The prawn, a delicious crustacean that has captured the palates of millions of Australians for over a thousand summers. Its versatility has allowed the crustacean to transcend social class and even geography, popping up in restaurants and homes all the way from the mid north coast to Betoota’s affluent city suburb of Point Rockford. Tristan Adams (28), a...

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT The commonly-held theory that Arnott's could see just as much, if not more, success by releasing an assorted cremes-sized packet of only Monte Carlos has been confirmed in a new report by the Biscuit Industry Cooperative Commission Into Enjoyment (BICCIE). The findings show an undeniable mountain of evidence that suggests the Monte Carlo is by far the most superior...

LOUIS BURKE | Culture | CONTACT With the stadium loving state of NSW becoming the latest to allow 100% capacity at sporting venues, footy fans are rejoicing as loosened covid restrictions allow for punch-ons to take place in footy car parks again.  Once a common place in the pre-covid era, violent brawls amongst fans after football matches were growing in popularity due to gambling apps...

EFFIE BATEMAN | BRISBANE| CONTACT If there’s one thing little brother James Thompson wants more than anything in the world, it’s the approval of his older brother Stephen. A notion that seems entirely impossible, given that the age difference is a solid few years - Good one, mum and dad. But that’s not going to stop him from desperately trying to win his brother’s affections,...

LOUIS BURKE | Culture | CONTACT Local erratic and full-time social smoker, Ella Gibson (44) reckons the reason she’s a bit out there is due to her ADHD, a condition which at the time or writing she has not been diagnosed with. Known for taking board games too seriously, listening to music without headphones on and encouraging binge drinking to the point of alcoholism, Gibson...

TRACEY BENDINGER | Culture | CONTACT It’s 4:30pm and the girls have been on the rosé since midday. The heels have come off, the makeup has soaked in and Jessica Lavender (25) has just taken over the AUX cord. Jessica, who once dated west Betoota’s most successful hip-hop artist, considers herself a bit of a rap aficionado and any chance she gets, she likes to...

 CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT The town of Roma has been rattled by the arrival of a well-educated good looker that isn't related to anyone, as droves of dumb bushies begin acting up during every single social event. Tia Malley (26) from Brisbane is currently going through the final paces of her medical degree at the Royal Beetson Hospital, and has arrived in town...

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT The Gilchrist family, owners of Lake Betoota Cattle Station, say they haven't had to have the flying doctor land on their property since 1997. That was back when one of the cousins visiting from Port Douglas got bitten by a snake that turned out it to be a legless lizard. Since then, touch wood, they haven't really needed to utilise...

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT A transient man who dad has contracted to thin out the wild animals that keep killing themselves on his fences, shouldn't be driving around the family property while the kids are awake, and certainly isn't allowed over the cattle grid entrance to the homestead, says mum. The nameless vagrant, who comes from Adelaide or somewhere fucking ages away, doesn't...

In what has come as a shock to many, local abstract artist, slam-poet and owner of pink hair, Rose “Moon Girl” Gardener (31) has revealed that she doesn’t always like being the centre of attention. Gardener rose to fame last year when she participated in a piece of performance art called “Sealed in snot” where locals in Betoota’s village square...