Local News

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact A popular local tradesman with a largely inconvenient auto-immune condition has made it clear to some new friends last night that he was born with Type-1 diabetes - and that he feels a mild superiority over those with the Type-2 variety. Darcy Carmichael, of Longview Road in Betoota Heights, was observed last night in the...

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact Peeling himself off his bedsheets this morning in his un-airconditioned sharehouse bedroom, a largely unpopular 28-year-old sighed as he remembers the family lunch pencilled in for today. Stacey Porter, who says he vaguely recalls going out last night but can't be certain where, did he best to wash the previous night's filth off his rapidly softening corpse-like body before...

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact "What was it like working for Kidman? I've heard their staff turnover and retention rates are pretty bad," asked Oscar Pooley, who says he works in agribusiness. "It wasn't that bad. The Channel Country stations had that problem because they're so isolated from everywhere. You'd go mad working down in the channels out past Thargo,...

It had just past 8:00pm as Jarrod Moreton flew around the bend on the Diamantina Hill road, not in a particular hurry, he just liked to go fast. Unbeknownst to Jarrod, there was a police officer hiding just 2km ahead - waiting to nab an innocent lead foot like himself. Just as Jarrod was getting into the chorus of INXS'...

HARVEY GOBLIN | Narcotics | Contact Two happy-go-lucky local finance workers told themselves this afternoon that this weekend would be a quiet one. Dreams of lying beside the Betoota Heights Olympic Pool, pretending to read the latest Tim Winton, perhaps even a macadamia Weiss bar when the heat of the afternoon really kicked in. Timmy Doolan and Alec Dalton both entertained that fantasy,...

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact Some of his firm's biggest clients are in town this week, which means John Cunningham needs to be on his A-game. One part of that game includes the great Australian male pass time - binge drinking. Last night at a popular French Quarter nightspot, John and a choice group of senior partners, junior partners and other...

WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | Contact A fully grown human male has made a concerted plea to his work colleagues today, to overlook one of his vices. The 36-year-old Chief of Staff at Betoota Municipal Council was forced to request that the people around him in the workplace respect him as fully functioning member of society despite the fact that he plays games on his mobile...

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact Peter and Nancy Pearson have waited years for the day, and yesterday it finally came. Their eldest son Graeme got his provisional license - meaning it was time for the sexagenarians to get a little bit of payback for all the years they drove him around. Mere minutes after they got the news, the Baby Boomers changed into their Sunday...

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact Two months ago, Nathan Dollarhyde's life was perfect according to the man himself. Today, it's far from it. The Advocate can reveal this afternoon that his partner of six years, Amanda O'Donghue, felt there was a lot more life could offer her beyond the Betoota City Limits - so she left. "And that was that," concedes the 28-year-old office person. "About a...

ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact The former Premier of New South Wales looked up in the sky last night and asked God why he does the things he does. Caught short at his local, the Lake Street Liquor Supply in Sydney's north, Mike Baird cursed himself for being the architect behind the Puritan laws that saw bottle shops close statewide...