Local Woman Resents Her Stupid Brother For Inheriting The Unfairly Long, Thick Eyelashes
EFFIE BATEMAN | Lifestyle | ContactIf there's one thing local woman Shae Huxley has learned in her twenty-two years on earth, it's that life isn't fair - a statement that rings true whenever she finds herself sitting next to her brother, Nathan.Though she'd had long been aware of Nathan' absurdly long, thick lashes, Shae constantly found herself seething with anger whenever she spied...
Cost Of Living Crisis Forces Supermarkets To Padlock Dumpster To Maintain Food Waste Culture
LOUIS BURKE | Culture | CONTACT
In response to what the Australian media are calling the cost of living crisis, supermarkets have stepped up and begun padlocking their dumpsters to stop would-be scavengers and maintain food waste culture.
With the Australian Bureau of Statistics reporting average prices on regularly purchased items have increased by 6.1%, the highest in 21 years, many Australians have resorted to...
Stepdad Sucks The Prawn Head
LOUIS BURKE | Culture | CONTACTAs the nation continues to embrace the culinary Christmas traditions that give us our own little glimpse into culture, Aussies are once again enjoying the delicious taste of prawns. A food you have to work for to truly enjoy, shelling fresh prawns over a bucket of discarded exoskeleton before consuming the fishy morsel, dipping your fingers into some lemon...
Sweaty Dad Told To Avoid Nice Furniture And Take Rightful Place On Towel Covered Armchair
EFFIE BATEMAN | Lifestyle | ContactA local dad has narrowly avoided ruining nice furniture today, after coming home from work caked in sweat.
It’s alleged John Reid had a habit of sitting on chairs instead of hopping in the shower, much to the annoyance of his wife Deb, who’d grown sick of constantly chastising him.
Declaring the expensive chaise lounge as ‘no go’ zone,...
Ungrateful Newborn Reserves Biggest Smiles For The Two Hours Spent With Dad After Work
EFFIE BATEMAN | Lifestyle | ContactAs local mum Courtney Delonge watches her newborn erupt into the biggest smile she’s ever seen, she wonders if it’s rational to resent your child.
Because that smile is not for her, no. It’s for daddy.
After spending an entire day with attending to the unrelenting needs of her son Jacob, Courtney wouldn’t have been wrong to think that his...
‘Manifestation’ Found To Be The Adult Equivalent Of Trying To Move Things With Your Mind After Watching Matilda
EFFIE BATEMAN | Lifestyle | ContactIn some findings that really shouldn’t come as a surprise to anyone, it’s been discovered that there is a direct correlation between those who tried to move things with their minds as a kid, and adults who now employ ‘manifestation’ techniques - the art of bringing something into your life by focusing your thoughts on it.
This law of...
‘Tattoos Are Permanent You Know’ Says Mum To Daughter She Keeps Pressuring To Give Her Grandkids
EFFIE BATEMAN | Lifestyle | ContactA local mum has today shown she’s gone the religious route, by picking and choosing what the definition of ‘permanent’ is.
It’s alleged Debra Maston was preparing a garden salad when she’d ‘overheard’ a conversation between her two daughters, who’d piqued her interest due to their hushed voices, glances in her direction, and the fact they were looking very...
Jersey Saga Causes Suburban Teen To Hold Off Coming Out To Parents That He’s A Manly Supporter
WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet |CONTACT
A young suburban high school student has today revealed to The Advocate one of the struggles he's gone through this week.
Sean Williams explained to us that he's been grappling with the fact that he needs to have a tough conversation with his parents.
"I've really got to sit them down and just break the news to them,"...
Laser Clinic Informs Woman She’ll Need 2K Worth Of ‘Preparation Creams’ To Go Ahead With $150 Treatment
EFFIE BATEMAN | Lifestyle | ContactLocal woman Lindsay Vacluse just wanted to get a fucking microneedling session.
You see, when she’d spotted a deal for a half price microneedling treatment, she figured this would be the perfect opportunity to finally do something about her dogshit winter skin, and hopefully lighten some of those acne marks leftover from her naughty pimple squeezing sessions.
Considering she’d heard...
Gossip-Heavy Rebel Girls Group Chat Suggests Hens Party Preparations Aren’t Going To Plan
KEITH T. DENNETT | New South | CONTACTA long-awaited hens party is in crisis this evening, after preparations for the event have been stonewalled by a group of rebel anti-wine tour insurgents.After two weeks of slow preparations and lofty plans being raised in a group chat of 15 individuals, The Advocate understands crisis talks have officially commenced after a suggestion was made by...
