EFFIE BATEMAN Lifestyle Contact

A local dad has narrowly avoided ruining nice furniture today, after coming home from work caked in sweat.

It’s alleged John Reid [43] had a habit of sitting on chairs instead of hopping in the shower, much to the annoyance of his wife Deb, who’d grown sick of constantly chastising him.

Declaring the expensive chaise lounge as ‘no go’ zone, Deb had even purchased an old worn armchair from gumtree, which was to be the only chair John could sit on. But despite having his designated spot, John would often slip up and sit his sweat encrusted stubbies on furniture that wasn’t covered by a towel, removing his boots and filling the living room with the stench of his socks.

When asked why he couldn’t simply jump into the shower, John would indignantly respond that he ‘worked hard’, and that he deserved to have a rest when he got home.

“John THE CHAIR. “


Muttering a ‘for fucks sake”, John bedgridginly peels himself off the lounge and potters over the fridge for a consolatory beer, shooting his wife a dirty look on the way.

“Sorry, your highness.”

More to come.


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