Headlines

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT A gay man with a mild case of Asperger's is basically immune from any sort of accountability, it has been confirmed. Kon Bacey (40) has achieved a lot of things in his life for which he has been celebrated many times, however, when it comes to regrets, Kon doesn't really have any because everything bad that he has done...

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT A high-ranking executive from a big 4 bank has died after he drank a liquid he said was poison seconds after he learnt news of Malcolm Turnbull's plan to begin a royal commission into Australian financial institutions, it has been confrimed. Wyatt Andrich (72)  tilted back his head and took a swig from a bottle shortly after being approached...

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT A man who's parents decided to hack off the top of his penis for no reason other than the fact that they thought it is what everyone does, has today defended their decision. Male circumcision is the removal of the foreskin from the human penis. In the most common procedure, the foreskin is opened, adhesions are removed, and the foreskin is separated from the glans. "It's...

 CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT “Meet me at Booroombah at 4.” was the scrawled note left on Bill Shorten’s desk this morning. Booroomba Station, is a rural property 10 kilometres out of Canberra, near the NSW and ACT border. It was the property where the two most powerful men in the Australian Labor Party had a crisis summit today. Needing somewhere out of ASIO’s...

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT A regular patron at an East Brisbane Hotel has become an unlikely hero this week, after severely concussing an armed robber during a hold up at around 11.30pm on Monday night. One of the two assailants brandished a gun and demanded an employee fill a bag with cash from the till while the other, armed with a machete, ordered...

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT An absolutely ropable proud Aussie has today put on some Lee Kernaghan and cut a few hoops on an old landing strip, as tears welled in his eyes. Shane Buckley (35) says he's sick of this whingeing leftie bullshit. He says it's attacking all the things that the Daily Telegraph has told him to hold dear. "First it was Aussie...

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Following the news that Triple Js iconic Hottest 100 music contest will no longer be played on Australia Day, the vulnerable Prime Minister Turnbull is torn as to whether or not throwing his two cents around in an attempt to win support from upset members of Reclaim Australia. The scheduling change was announced yesterday and has caused significant brouhaha...

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT A prominent TV gardener has today been accused of indecent behaviour on set, when it comes to his work as a champion of backyard gardening, which saw him develop an unwarranted and abusive God complex. A joint ABC/Fairfax investigation has uncovered claims from a number of coworkers from in the late 1980s and 1990s who say the well-known fuckwit...

LOUIS BURKE | Culture | CONTACT Country boy Kelvin Lieschke (22) has shown his true colours. During a friendly dinner at a Chinese restaurant, Lieschke became overwhelmed by the unfamiliar menu items and opted for the Lucky Dragon fish and chips. “It was on the menu so I ordered it. What’s hard to understand about that?” It is speculated that the ordering of the fish...

LOUIS BURKE | Culture | CONTACT While losing your job can be difficult, sometimes it’s the avenue you need to reinvent yourself. For example, former Labor leader and talking battered sav Mark Latham took his end in career politics as an opportunity to make life better for himself and worse for every Australian with access to the internet. So are you someone who stays...