Headlines

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Local business owner, Frank King-Creditze (50) has today proven that he is nothing more than a wealth-hoarding grub with no respect for what it means to be Australian. According to Frank, his South Betoota-based mid-sized commercial construction company is more important that paying tribute to the late great Bob Hawke. This comes after Australia’s 23rd prime minister died peacefully in...

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT The newest plus-one inclusion to a tight-knit circle of girlfriends in Betoota Grove has today stepped up to the plate to show his worth in front of the lesser blokes. Until minutes ago, Adrian Rocksolid (25) was just the new dork that Kelly had been seeing. That was until someone arrived with a bag of party ice. Adrian, who still...

 CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT After years of fierce rivalry and factional peanut-throwing, the Labor Party has stood united today for the first time since Keating. The final concession of old white male egos comes as a surprise to their supporters, who all secretly enjoy the head-lopping turmoil that has plagued both major parties for the last decade. However, Bradbury Shorten has today decided that...

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT With the election just days away, and thousands of undecided voters in the mighty Kennedy electorate - The Honourable Bob Katter III MP is all guns blazing to keep the people of the North-West onside. Even if that means relying on that bloody time-wasting fucken hoorang internet thing. It would appear that it is a bit difficult to speak with...

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT Julian Hunxley has always been firm in his beliefs that the ideal political party is one that balances between socially progressive and fiscally conservative. Despite living in a gorgeous pre-war workers cottage in Betoota's bohemian French Quarter, and owning three stunning rescue greyhounds with his husband Brucey - Julian actually isn't as politically correct as the blaring stereotype would...

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT As voters in the Dickson Electorate prepare to go to the polls this weekend, it appears that their local member, Peter Dutton MP, is preparing for the fight of his political career. A grey skull has appeared in the sky today above the popular Strathpine Centre, as Dutton prepares for his ultimate battle against the Muslims Who Lived. Close insiders...

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT A second-year-plumbing apprentice who is on the same wages his dad was 18-years-ago, says he's not really that interested in this weekend's election. Despite the fact that in two years on the job, Codey has already injured himself to the point where he has had to miss work unpaid, he's still not overly interested in who wins this weekend. "I'm...

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT With just six days until the 2019 Federal Election, one local swing-voter feels it might be time to re-elect another Labor government. Trenton Pedrana (40) says as the sole bread-winner of an comfortable middle class family of four in 2019, he hasn't once turned on free-to-air television since last year's State Of Origin. That means, aside from seeing the consistent...

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT The Nightwatchman Prime Minister is a big fan of women, the youth, and the disabled. As of 48 hours ago. After a shocking week that has seen the lower-order leader of the Coalition Government attempting to strike in rapidly worsening light, his allies at Newscorp have come steaming in like dark clouds from the west with a poorly thought-out...

CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT A recent study by the AMA Queensland has found that the concerning rise of diagnosed greens voters is one of the most easily avoidable epidemics since chlamydia hit the Navy. "It's easier to cure than the common cold" says lead researcher Dr Derryn Thelps. "But it requires cooperation and initiative from not only the sufferers - but also their families...