From The Archives: Hawke Concerned For Fraser’s Mental Health After He Went Mad On The Grog And Lost His Pants Somewhere In Memphis
14 October 1986
ROBERT PENFOLD | US Correspondent | Contact
Prime Minister Bob Hawke has expressed concern for his political opponent, former PM Malcolm Fraser, after reports emerged that Fraser lost his pants somewhere in Memphis while under the influence of alcohol.
Hawke, who famously enjoyed a drink or two before his time in office, expressed his dismay at Fraser's behaviour, stating...
Scientists Reveal First Images Of New Omicron Sub-Variant
WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT
As the world enters its third year of battling the spicy cough, scientists have revealed that a new variant has received a software upgrade.
Speaking to reporters from out the front of some giant government subsidised lab, a group of medical experts have confirmed the existence of a new Omicron sub variant.
Titled XBB.1.16 the new sub variant...
Enlightened Young Conservative That Grew Up In This House Feels The Voice Is Tokenistic And Patronising
ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact
After trying his hand at a number of professions, the son of a successful local businessman and a popular television chef has decided to give media a spin in the hopes of finding some sort of validation for his continued existence in his parents' pool house cabana.
Greymarth House is a heritage-listed Victorian Italianate mansion...
Italians Claim Australian Prosecco Is Inferior Because It Doesn’t Contain Any DOT4 Brake Fluid
ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact
The battle between local prosecco producers and their Italian counterparts is heating up again this week after the Europeans filed their case to the EU Trade Commission in Brussels.
In their filing, Italian producers of the effervescent brain varnish have lashed local prosecco makers in Australia by claiming that the product is inferior because it...
NIMBY Shitebags Fear Affordable Housing In The Area Will Result In More Interactions With Poor People
ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact
A section of council housing in the French Quarter that was earmarked for redevelopment will now be sold by the Shire after the development application was opposed almost unanimously by local residents.
The denizens of Rue de Putain and Jardins du Branlette successfully argued that making more affordable housing available in the area will lead...
South Australian Wonders What The Cool Gadgets Are That Everyone Else Has In Their Hands At The Golf
ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact
A South Australian man has been left wondering what everyone else has in their hands today after going to the stickball out the The Grange.
Seamus Sterling, of Prospect, was given tickets to the LIV Golf tournament by his work for being the employee of the month down at the local whale oil plant in...
“Lunar Eclipse” Shouts Local Dad Before Mooning His Son
CLYDE ROYAL |Western News| Contact
Not often does an astronomy event create such a danger to the everyday punter.
The recent Lunar eclipse seen in Western Australia has reportedly made for some total “stitch ups” around the country.
Warnings have gone out for the most common pranks.
“If a friend or co-worker offers to show you a photo they have taken of the...
Kyle Sandilands Does A Handstand Against The Wall And Shits On His Own Face In Effort To Reclaim #1 Breakfast Radio Spot
ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact
Kyle Sandilands, the controversial host of the Kyle and Jackie O Show, shocked listeners on air with his latest stunt in a bid to win back the #1 spot in Australia's breakfast radio ratings from rival host Ben Fordham of 2GB.
During a live broadcast, Sandilands attempted a handstand against the wall in the KIIS...
Rupert Murdoch’s Leaked Emails Have Exposed The Inner Workings Of His Crumbling Empire
ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact
All of News Corporation's 24 000 staff received an email this week that contained directions from the conglomerate's Chairman Rupert Murdoch about the editorial direction they'd be heading in this quarter.
The emails reveal the inner workings of the South Australian's crumbling empire as for as long as audiences can remember, Rupert Murdoch has said...
RBA Respond To Government Review By Claiming It’s Not Their Fault Everyone Is So Povo
WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT
The Reserve Bank of Australia has today responded to a damning review which claims it needs to be shaken up to ensure it's fit heading into the future.
Speaking from somewhere in the shithole CBD of Sydney, Governor Philip Lowe told The Advocate that he's not really sure why it's his fault that the nation is so povo...
