As the world enters its third year of battling the spicy cough, scientists have revealed that a new variant has received a software upgrade.

Speaking to reporters from out the front of some giant government subsidised lab, a group of medical experts have confirmed the existence of a new Omicron sub variant.

Titled XBB.1.16 the new sub variant was reportedly found first discovered in Australia back in February, and has since made quite the run since then.

Reporters revealed the first images of what the sub variant looks like, the molecular spike seemingly wearing a leather gimp suit and some cat ears.

Talking with a mask on to protect his identity, the scientist who discovered the sub-variant said he actually came across it at swingers party.

“Obviously I’m not going to disclose the location of that party,” he said.

“But, let me tell you it was infectious.”

When asked about the danger of the sub variant, the scientist told The Advocate that he is concerned.

“Because, if the sub variant is this dangerous, I don’t think we want to see the dom variant.”

It’s currently unknown if a dom variant will make it’s way to Australian shores anytime soon.

More to come.


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