Hungry Waitress Determines That Eating Customer Leftovers Is Fine As Long As There’s No Visible Bites
EFFIE BATEMAN | Lifestyle | ContactWhen it comes to the unspoken rules of hospitality, none are quite so polarising as the decision to eat a customer’s leftover food.
You see, if you’re a waitress that’s established a strong rapport with the chef - likely, as a result of allowing them to flirt with you - it’s possible to have food prepared for you at...
Albo’s 94-Year-Old Greek Neighbour Throws Fresh Deck Of B&H Classics Over Back Fence To Help Him Battle The Spicy Cough
ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact
Opposition leader Anthony Albanese is in isolation today after catching the spicy cough that's been going around for the past two and a bit years.
While he's only complaining of having a scratchy throat and general malaise, Albo's next-door neighbour threw a fresh deck of Benson & Hedges Classics over their shared fence this morning...
Saleswoman Offering Wine Samples In Airport Reapplies War Paint After Spotting Boomer Golf Trip
CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACTOne of Betoota airport’s most committed sales guns has today sharpened her harpoon, after spotting a pod of white wales heading her way.
As a wine rep working the floor in the terminal thoroughfare, Tanya Burleigh (57) knows her strike rate is far less inspiring than her colleagues working the cellar door.
But when you’re on, you’re on.
And right now...
“Sort Your Life Out!” Says Burnout Dad Who Snorted Gak At An Iron Maiden Concert In Poland In 1994
ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact
A Betoota Heights father of two has needless harangued his son this morning because he went out over Easter and got pissed in the park with his mates and some NIMBY yuppie dog called the cops on them.
"You're 16-years-old! You should know better," said Walter Rohl to his son, Fred.
"I can't believe...
White Rapper Appropriates White Rapper
CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACTIn a massive win for the hip hop culture, white rappers have officially been around long enough for there to be an ‘Old school’ and a ‘new school.'
This was confirmed this week as American rapper Jack Harlow went to number 1 on music charts around the world with his new track ‘First Class’ - which features a sample of...
Clive Palmer Says Adam Bandt Will Need Dental On Medicare If He Keeps Running His Fucking Mouth
ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact
The unsinkable Clive Palmer has told the media today in Queensland that Greens leader Adam Bandt will need a free set of teeth if he keep running his fucking mouth about billionaires paying for other people's dental care.
Mr Palmer, who usually minces his words, didn't today when he spoke candidly with reporters in Noosa...
PM Tells Reporter To “Bing It” When Asked What The Under-Employment Rate Is
ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact
The Prime Minister has flipped the narrative on the silly leftie journalists who are trying to destroy the country by telling them to use popular internet search engine Bing to find out what the answer was to a tricky question.
Scott Morrison is in Tasmania today and the reporters down there weren't about to let...
Yuppie Couple With Their Kid At The Pub Get Upset When Someone Yells ‘Get Up You Cunt’ At The TV In The TAB
ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact
A French Quarter couple who not only brought their kid down to the local for dinner - but also their fucking dog - asked to speak to the publican last night at the Gelded Seahorse Hotel after hearing a bloke in the TAB yell at the TV.
The man in the TAB was Martin Overell,...
“They’re Better Economic Managers,” Says Puffer Vest Wearing Prick Who Heard His Dad Say It
ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact
A young man from our town's leafiest enclave has told The Advocate something his Dad told him a few weeks ago that he now parrots to anyone who'll listen to him.
The Betoota Grove youngster, Harry-Roland Thomas-Gregory, explained that Australian families can't afford to throw all our progress away and vote in a Labor Government...
Albo Quotes Anti-Nowhere League And Says “So What? So What! You Boring Little C**t” Of Employment Figure Gaffe
ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact
Opposition leader Anthony Albanese has withdrawn his statement from yesterday where he said he was sorry that he couldn't tell a reporter in Tasmania what the employment figures were.
Quoting yet another musical act, this time Albo quoted the Anti-Nowhere League's popular hit "So What?" when he spoke to journalists in Hobart just a short...
