IN-Focus

Report: Best Place To Eat In Italy Is Obscure Town Your Mate’s Nonna Is From

LOUIS BURKE | Culture | CONTACTIn a report of shocking convenience, the best place to eat in Italy just happens to be the exact obscure town that your mate’s nonna is from. Famous for bringing several vegetables, herbs and an unhealthy obsession with sport to Australia, Italian-Australians are also renowned for their love of recommending some truly incredible places to eat, whether you asked...

Advice Column | Live Your Best Australian Dream By Becoming A Greedy Money Pig

DR CHET SPEVENS | Finance Expert | CONTACTAustralia is one of the wealthiest countries on Earth with some of the most cashed up citizens there’s ever been in all of recorded history. That’s because Australians are an aspirational people who strive to better themselves and each other.  We are the global 1% and we are living inside a magical gumdrop smile called...

“Paris, You Have My Heart” Posts Woo Girl Who Spewed Under Arc de Triomphe Last Night  

KEITH T. DENNETT | New South | CONTACTAn Aussie traveller has posted a touching tribute to the city of Paris this evening after soaking up and spewing out the best the city has to offer.The Advocate can report Betoota Ponds hair extension specialist Britnee Walters (25) has this morning uploaded a cute carousel to Instagram which features black and white highlights from a...

Advice Column | Become The Ultimate Company Man By Working Longer Hours For The Same Pay You’re On Now

DR CHET SPEVENS | Finance Expert | CONTACTWhat do all corporations really want? This is the question that every good company man worth a pay check asks themselves. Answer: They want YOU. Nay, they need you. Almost as much as you need them. And it’s nice to feel needed. Ask any decent company man who’d rather choose to meet a project deadline...

Advice Column | 3 Ways You Can Run Your Small Business Like A Multinational Corporation

DR CHET SPEVENS | Finance Expert | CONTACT Are you a small business owner like me? It’s bloody hard work to turn a profit, isn’t it?  Well, not anymore! I’m going to show you the top 3 most successful multinational corporation profit-making practices that you can use to run your small business better. And before you ask, yes dodging tax is great, but that’s basic...

Rivers Now A Go-To Fashion Label For Gen Z

KEITH T. DENNETT | New South | CONTACT In surprising fashion news, regional super-retailer Rivers is reporting monster profits this winter as the store becomes the next daggy brand celebrated by Gen Z. After posting hand-stamped letters to all shareholders this week, The Advocate can report money is flowing into Rivers outlets across the nation as the store enjoys a welcome revival. Famous for their boxy...

Advice Column | Leveraging The Drunken Mistakes Your Boss Made Last Night To Win That Next Promotion

DR CHET SPEVENS | Finance Expert | CONTACTMany of my aspirational finance students want to turbocharge their career progression but forget to use the most important business tool to do so. Leverage.Using leverage is key to attaining more professional success, promotions, more leisure time and better health. It is a wonderful tool to have in your professional arsenal but more importantly...

‘Satanic Liquid’ In Dark Mofo Urinal Found To Be From Some Bloke Who Ate Asparagus And Beetroot Last Night

EFFIE BATEMAN | Lifestyle | ContactVisitors of Dark Mofo have today accused organisers of going overboard after a satanic exhibition was discovered in the mens toilets, it’s reported. With only one day left of MONA's winter festival, patrons reported seeing glowing glowing red liquid in the urinals that smelled like 'sulphur'- which anyone who's ever watched an episode of Supernatural can attest, is the...

Advice Column | Remove Community Protections And Let Developers Develop!

DR CHET SPEVENS | Finance Expert | CONTACTNoise, odour, overshadowing, access to sunlight, privacy. My God the list is endless. These are just some of the so-called ‘amenity impacts’ that our outdated and cumbersome planning system forces us developers to avoid. And it’s precisely community protections like these that are fuelling the housing crisis. It’s time to remove the red tape, the layers of...

Advice Column | How To Shift Blame When Your Tech Unicorn Turns Out To Be A Chlamydia-Riddled Mule

DR CHET SPEVENS | Finance Expert | CONTACTWe can’t all be tech billionaires like Mike Cannon-Brookes. Taking our amazing IT software idea to the very top of the tech world. You thought you were going to be the next Canva. I get it. Your parents told you that you were special, “so good with computers”, and you believed your amazing software was...

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