EFFIE BATEMAN Lifestyle Contact

A French Quarter woman has finally found the right pet for herself this week, after her exhaustive list of requirements made it difficult to find the perfect match.

Gina Matters [28] told The Advocate that she’d originally thought about getting a greyhound ideally but had wanted something smaller and ‘more nervous’, to the point where every waking moment was a terrifying ordeal for the poor thing.

Stating that a chihuahua was too obvious, and that she didn’t feel like gambling with an angry, yappy one, Gina had almost given up her search for the dog embodiment of pure anxiety, when she stumbled upon ‘Zippy’ the whippet, who hasn’t stopped trembling since she brought him home four days ago.

“I don’t think I’ve seen his tail once”, says Gina, referring to the tail that has been permanently hidden between Zippy’s back legs, “he’s terrified of everything.”

“We haven’t even left the apartment yet and he’s having the worst time of his life.”

“I think he genuinely hates being alive.”

More to come.


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