LOUIS BURKE | Culture | CONTACT

A local tradie has proved why he didn’t become a vet today by inaccurately describing a colleague’s lunch as food for a rabbit.

In Australia, it is a well acknowledged fact that trades people are the number one enjoyers of lunch which is why servos, takeaway joints and those that are a bit of both, offer gut-busting, calorie rich and slightly condescending tradie meal deals. 

Traditionally, these meal deals feature some sort of mystery meat, iced coffee and a side of chips, a favourite of Betoota Ponds shopfitter Declan Doog (44).

What is not a favourite of Doog’s is the bouquet of raw vegetables that colleague Jesse Wayan (25) brought in for lunch today.

“Mate, what bloody rabbit food have you got there?” asked Doog, apparently imagining a rabbit dipping a chicory parcel into a dish of umami dressing.

“Did you bring any food for humans or just for members of the Leporidae family?”

According to Wayan, Doog’s comments are expected even if it’s ridiculous to think that a rabbit, domestic or otherwise, would make a recipe from a $80 vegan cookbook.

“I don’t get his criteria, he was like this the day I asked for a banh mi on a brown roll,” stated Wayan, the proud owner of a pair of eyes that face forward and ears that don’t stick comically above their hat.

“What kind of rabbit is paying $32 for a goodness bowl? For a starter they can’t even eat leafy greens and there are seven types in here!”

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