A local bloke has tonight been able to successfully swerve potential blowback from Valentine’s Day, by quickly getting in and sorting out a pressy in the nick of time. 

After forgetting about the day entirely – despite multiple warnings from his mates – Tommy Jacobson found himself up shit creek without a paddle when his girlfriend Steph presented him with a heartfelt Valentine’s Day card and bag of peanut brittle. 

That lovely token of appreciation was accompanied by an announcement that his favourite dinner had been cooking in the oven all day.

“Oh wow thanks babe, that’s so nice of you”, Tommy had said, desperately trying to hide his panic, “you’re always so thoughtful.”

As she’d looked at him expectedly, Tommy had quickly sifted through his options before coming up with a lie he hoped sounded believable.

“Don’t worry, I got you something too! But I thought we could have it later?”

“A little treat after dinner!”

Pulling out his phone to see what his options were at the drop of a hat, a frantic Tommy was left scrolling the one app that always gets him out of a stitch – VOLY.

Perfect for forgotten last minute dinner ingredients or days when he was too hungover to leave the bed, Tommy had figured he’d be able to sort out a bit of choccy – which in his eyes was a pretty cute little present. 

Opting for one of the only choccy’s left in stock – the criminally underrated chocolate bullets – Tommy crossed his fingers in the hope that it’d at least get over the line, but figured he might have to chuck in a massage too.

“Choccy bullets are a pretty good start though,” he laughed. 

More to come.


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